Tag: mindfulness

Legos in the Laundry

Legos in the laundry, that’s the new season of parenthood I’m in. We’ve somehow slipped out of monthly milestones, developmental leaps and counting each new word. We’ve entered a world of creativity, imagination and joy. A world that consists of small holes in my yard filled with plastic dinosaurs, lego creations that fall out when I open the dryer door, scribbled notes and detailed treasure maps taped to the walls of my house. Brotherly bike races, obstacle courses and tickle fights, overflowing boxes of “treasures”, nerf darts in every corner, mixed up potions, swords and masks and a dozen costumes in one day. Leaving the baby season and squarely being in the kid season feels like a big deal. I equate it to the feeling of turning 25. Where it suddenly feels old, but in reality you’re still quite young. This phase feels big and so much older, but in the same breath I recognize I still am needed for middle of the night tuck-ins, tying loose shoelaces, or getting something off the top shelf.

The heartbreakingly beautiful part about parenthood is that it really is all a phase. The sleepless nights, the spit up, the separation anxiety, the babbles, the step,step,stumble, the handprints all over your windows, the blowouts. It all fleeting, which inevitably means it’s bittersweet. The idea that tomorrow your kids are a tiny bit older, a tiny bit bigger. The days blend into weeks, weeks into months, and before you know it, it’s been two years since you changed a diaper. Suddenly the bottles are gone and replaced with cups your kids can fill themselves.

There are moments in the motherhood when you desperately want to freeze time. Those newborn cuddles & coo’s. The way that little hand slips into yours. The slobbery kisses. And moments you wish to rush through, phases where you are simply surviving. There’s no capacity for anything extra. Days where your best looks like simply keeping everyone fed and alive (yourself included). Society tells us don’t blink you’ll miss it, soak it up, cherish it all, enjoy every moment. That mentality puts an unattainable pressure on moms to feel like they have to love every stage, or else! The overt dismissal that parenting is the single most difficult balancing act on the planet. It takes from every part of you. You sacrifice your body, your time, your sleep. However the dichotomy of parenthood is: it can also absolutely be the biggest, hardest, most beautiful journey you embark on.

As I exit one phase and enter another I wonder: how do you hold on to something that is slipping through your fingers? At some point along the way I ditched the pressure to “love every moment because one day I’ll miss it”. And instead focus on being present, acknowledging where we are in that moment. The good and the bad. The parts that challenge me, the parts that make me question if I’m doing it right at all, as well as the parts that make my heart explode. Giving my kids my full attention, sitting on the floor with them, indulging and submersing myself in their world, taking my shoes off and playing chase in the grass. Reconnecting with my inner child. These help feel like I’m extending my memories somehow. Maybe one day the memories will be easier to access because I wasn’t distracted and instead I was truly there. When I’m older I hope the cool grass between my toes transports me to games of chase, picnics outside, backyard soccer matches. I hope the lone lego reminds of all the starships, rovers, cars and castles that were built. I hope a cup of chocolate milk reminds me of all loud dinners with messy faces and knock knock jokes. These are same dinners that I currently have a love hate relationship with. There are nights where the protesting of the homemade meal, the inevitable poop joke, the invasion of personal space are too much for 6pm. But I’m acutely aware that one day it’ll be my husband and I at an empty, quiet table again, so I soften. I join in on the jokes, I shoot my husband a knowing smile & we often exchange the phrase “this is what I thought it’d be like”.

Today if you read this and you are caught in a simply surviving phase remember, you are doing your best and that is good enough. Not every stage of motherhood fits nicely into social media squares. It’s okay to dislike the phase you’re in and take solace in knowing it’s literally that. A phase. A new one will greet, often at the crux of when you think you can’t take much more.

25 in 2025 List

Another year came and went! For many years now I’ve created these lists – you can read about them here (20 in 2020, but basically it’s a framework to help design, and add intentionality into the year. I put bigger goals as well as small, sometimes lingering tasks that I haven’t done but want to accomplish (ie: deal with tech donations, renew a passport, etc.). In this post I’m sharing my list for 2025 including a detailed version below. I enjoying doing one of these lists far more than creating a big often vague resolution. We’re only a little ways into 2025 so it’s certainly not too late to create one of your own!

Here’s a more detailed version of my list!

  1. 1k hours outside – We attempted this in 2023 and got SO close – like 940ish hours I think. I’m excited to try this again because I feel like we are outside so much with the kids when they’re playing baseball and we upgraded our backyard set up so I really think we can get to 1k!
  2. Slow read War and Peace – I’m doing a chapter a day and following along with a substack that puts out weekly short pods with plot / character and chapter summaries. This book is insanely long and I don’t think I would have read it otherwise.
  3. Delete social media – This one is surprising but kind of happened organically. Late last year I deleted twitter because it was an absolute dumpster fire. After I deleted it, it felt SO good so I actually deleted IG off my phone in the new year. And then tiktok took care of itself lol. I don’t really have a plan as to how long or if I’ll pop back in. Right now I’m really just enjoying the freedom.
  4. Sew banquet bench cushions – I made our dining room banquet seating in 2023 but it needs some comfy cushions so this year I plan to take this on.
  5. Build living room built ins – another DIY. duh.
  6. Get a will / living trust set up – This is a roll over from last year. We. NEED. To. Get. This. Done.
  7. Volunteer – cakes for kids / help packs – I found an amazing organization that I joined to bake cakes for foster kids who otherwise wouldn’t get a cake. This is right up my alley. I found this org on the website Just Serve which shows you so many amazing volunteer opportunities in your area!
  8. Read 40 books –
  9. Renew my passport –
  10. Paint fireplace brick – this badly needs a touch up because Toby lays on it every night and gets it filthy.
  11. Take candid sports photos – I picked up my DSLR last baseball season and was happy I did. I plan to take more candids of the kids this season.
  12. Save $ & monthly budgeting with Chris 
  13. Purge 2025 items – I found a little tracker for this online and so far I’m at 50. This feels ambitious but I desperately want to simplify and continue to minimize our stuff.
  14. Use the food we have – minimizing food waste is a huge goal – I want to use up things before just running to the store.
  15. Cook with boys 1 dinner / month – dinner is statistically the meal my children eat the least of. I’m trying something new where each boy gets to pick a recipe to make for dinner once a month. And then I will cook it with them and let them help as much as possible.
  16. Be easier on myself – this is a rollover from last year and although I think I did a decent job of this, I wanted to include it because it is just a good reminder. I need the reminder to extend the same amount of grace and compassion to myself whether it’s about my mothering, my body, my productivity, as I would to a friend. I want to show my kids it’s okay to make mistakes and not beat ourselves up about it.
  17. Enjoy our outdoor furniture – literally writing this blog post from my outdoor couch, drenched in sunlight. this should not be hard to accomplish.
  18. Paint Chris’ office – I have the tub of paint, just need to get it done. Luckily he has a few work trips in the next few months so I plant to take that opportunity while his office is empty to get this done!
  19. Complete dig deeper 2x – This is a workout program that i’m 3/4 of the way through and I LOVED. I plan to do it again. It’s 12 weeks long. So it takes me a while to get through.
  20. Make a 5 senses portrait – this is a roll over from 2024, I do want to complete this. It’s basically a way to create a portrait of someone or something using your senses. I want to do it for my kids and for my parents. because I feel like it gives such a great snapshot of what they are like in this moment. 
  21. Summer of swimming – last summer we joined a great gym that has a pool that makes you feel like you’re on vacation. We utilized it a bunch but this summer I want to use it even more. And really just work on the boys swimming capabilities as well as swimming for exercise for myself.
  22. Catch up on photo books (2023/2024) – This one I put on my list every year because it’s a huge undertaking but also brings immense joy. I’m 95% done with my 2023 book, and my goal is to get 2024 done realtively quickly!
  23. Superstitious – this goal is something I really want to happen but I’m a little nervous to put it out on the internet. Stay tuned lol
  24. Start Harry Potter with Will – Will and I are doing a 100 day reading challenge together and I’m trying to really help him strengthen his reading skills and fall in love with reading. After our 100 day challenge I want to start Harry Potter.
  25. Start hiking with Toby –

I know a lot of people feel some kind of way about this new year. But for me I’m really trying to cultivate and control what I can in my own home and little community. So that’s what I’m aiming for my list this year. Like I mentioned under the delete social media point. I’m not sure if I’ll return to making IG content. I made it for so long, showing up literally every single day. And it feels so free to take a break. I’ve had this blog before I began creating content and so I think you’ll find me here this year.

Cheers

Natasha

5 Tips to Read More

Like most people, I loved reading when I was younger. But fell out of the habit once nursing school, night shifts, and newborn life took over. Over the last two years I really stepped back into reading and made a serious effort to recreate a habit that I had loved so much. I decided to put down my phone and picked up books instead. In 2021 I pushed myself to read 10 books, which may not sound like a lot but it was more than I had read in many years. It felt so good to remember what it felt like to get lost in other worlds, having to stay up late to find out how a book ends! Those 10 books completely re-energized me to prioritize reading into a sustainable habit again. Last year I pushed myself to double my reading goal ended up finishing the year reading 21 books! Today I thought I’d share some tips for fitting more reading into your life, even if you’re like me and live a busy toddler mom life.

  1. Stop reading books you don’t enjoy – if you don’t like a book. put.it.down. don’t force yourself to read books you don’t enjoy! life is too short. I used to force myself to keep reading out of principle, but the reality is you’ll actually read slower and less books if you’re forcing yourself to trudge through stuff you don’t like.
  2. Utilize apps to get free e books. I use a kindle and before I would go back and forth on if i wanted to spend the money on a kindle book, especially as I was getting back into reading and honestly didn’t know what books I enjoyed anymore… Then I found the libby app. Which basically lets you rent ebooks from library. The app is completely free all you need is a library card number, which you can easily get online! This set me free from the mental gymnastics I was doing about actually spending money on e books and allowed me to download books without the pressure of having to feel like it was “worth the money”. This is how I read 99% of my books is through the libby app! You’re able to rent a book for 21 days but pro tip if it’s taking you longer DON’T close out of the book on your kindle. If you leave it up you can keep reading beyond 21 days.
  3. Know you’ll be interrupted – Life with two littles means interruptions, but I still read around them. While they’re playing outside or in their rooms, or when they’re watching a show. I’ll be reading. But I know I’ll get interrupted. When we’re outside I’ll play with them and then tell them “mommys gonna read her book know while you guys play”, and of course there are still interruptions but the more I do it the more they become used to it. My almost 5 year old asked me the other day all about my book, we talked about how words make sentences and how books tell stories and it was such a great conversation for my guy who is on the cusp of reading himself. The key for reading around your kids is don’t wait for *perfect* conditions. Doing this has helped me read so.much.more! Plus the example this sets is so powerful.
  4. Keep a running to-read list: I use the notes app on my phone and have a note dedicated to books I want to read. Whenever I’m at work and someone suggest a book or I’m on IG and someone talks about a book they love I add it to my list. So when I finish one I always have something else on my list to read. I also keep books on hold on the libby app!
  5. Take a book to bed: A few years ago I started charging my phone across the room from my bed. Mostly so I would ensure I would actually get up when my alarm was going off. But instead of taking my phone to bed scrolling until I was falling asleep I now go to bed with my kindle. Some nights I only manage to read a few pages before my eyes close. Other nights I will literally read for HOURS. This has drastically changed how much I read. And is such a better way to fall asleep. We spend a lot of time looking at our phones, being pulled by dings and pings. But reading really forces you to focus which will ultimately lead to better sleep!

What I’m reading currently: Lessons in Chemistry

Monday Mindset: Our power struggle with time.

Consider this:

We don’t get or have time at all – instead we are time. We’ll never get the upper hand in our relationships with the moments of our lives because we are nothing but those moments.

Last Sunday I was sleeping in a dark hotel room with my husband when I heard his alarm going off for the second time. Only to quickly realize it wasn’t his alarm, it was a phone call. A phone call saying our two year old sons asthma was bad and we needed to come home. Luckily our “getaway” was only ten minutes away. If you’re a parent you know you don’t need to be 500 miles away to feel recharged, all you need is a hotel bed, black out curtains and a night or two without a toddler, iykyk. After getting home, giving Johnathan his nebulizer treatments we realized he wasn’t improving all that much. And so, in all too familiar fashion, we filled a bag with necessities and headed for the hospital. Our little bubba ended up needing to stay in the hospital for 36 hours, getting some extra oxygen his body needed.

In the past five years I’ve sat and laid next to each of my children and husband in hospital beds and each time I’m hit with this paradoxical feeling of having time slow to a crawl within the walls of your hospital room while the world outside goes about their lives. Often in our daily lives we are consumed with ideas of not “wasting time” or the pressure of “living in the moment”. We innately begin to view time as a resource that we can manipulate or control, but there’s no greater reality check on your lack of control than a hospital. In a hospital you’re forced to surrender any illusion of control over time or finitude you think you have. As much as we want to wield control over our time the universe will continue to show us that no one can master time, that you can’t outrun the flipped hourglass that is each of our lives.

In 4000 weeks, Time Management for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman describes “a more fruitful approach to the challenge of living more fully in the moment starts from noticing that you are, in fact, always already living in the moment anyway, whether you like it or not. To try to live in the moment implies that you’re somehow separate from “the moment” and thus in a position to either succeed or fail at living in it.” So stop beating yourself up for “not living in the moment” enough. You have no choice you are living in the moment, it’s how you to choose to give your attention and experience those moments that matter.

While we were in the hospital last week I kept thinking about this quote. Usually living in the moment is associated with saying yes to the spontaneous invitation, watching the sunrise, dancing without inhibition, fun, light things. Yet there I was, with the Cars 2 movie playing for the third time in 30 hours, laying next to my son, trying to memorize his little curls and the way he rolls his blanket between his hands while simultaneously sucking his thumb, and I could not have “lived in the moment” more. It was a moment I would never have chosen for myself, but it was my reality. Ask any mom about the paradox that is time. The days can drag on, the phases that feel never ending, and yet suddenly you have a walking, talking toddler and you don’t understand how so much time has already passed. This feeling of chasing time, of wanting to savor every minute of it, of older generations reminding us how quickly it all really flies by can add pressure to make sure we’re doing THE most. When what would benefit us the most is to stop splitting our attention, stop trying to see how much we can cram into our day but instead shifting our focus to our focus. What makes our lives meaningful are our experiences. But in order to truly experience something we have to give our attention to it. Burkeman notes “to have any meaningful experience you must be able to focus on it, at least a bit. Otherwise, are you really having it at all? Can you have an experience you don’t experience?”

Things like meditation and breathwork train our brains to pause. To allow room for focus in a world that is filled with pings and dings, devices that are constantly pulling our focus in a hundred different directions.

I snapped this photo this week, we were reading books on the couch before bed, Chris was reading Dragons Love Tacos, and Johnathan held my hand. And I couldn’t stop looking at that little hand inside mine. I gave that little hand all my attention and focus, feeling the warmth from it, how his little fingers gripped onto my palm, the tiny veins that run along the top of his hand, the calmness of the moment. It was hard to believe a few days prior we were in the hospital and now we’re back at home, in this moment.

I hope this post encourages you to slow down, to draw more attention to the moments you’re already living it. Whether they’re the same bedtime routine you’ve grown tired of, or a new destination, or lifes cruel realities. I hope you can find moments to take in and fully experience for all that they are.

Monday Mindset: 2022 Wrapped

The week after Christmas and before the New Year is inherently made for reflection. It’s hard not to look back at the last 12 months, no matter what they held for you, without some kind of pause. Most of our years are filled with a mixture of ups and downs. Last year I shared my tradition of making a list for each year (20 for 2020, 21 for 2021, etc.) I wrote about the origin of this idea and what kinds of things fill this list in a post here . But the idea is that broad, overarching resolutions are ineffective and typically lose their shine rapidly. Filling a list with a mixture of small tasks, fun things, and bigger goals and checking in on the list through out the year is a great alternative to resolutions! Admittedly coming up with over 20 items can feel a little daunting so you could easily have the same effect with a list of 10 or 15 things. Below I’m sharing my 2022 list & some other milestones that happened!

22 in 2022

  1. Get family photos taken – Done! And SO happy with how they turned out!
  2. Read 12 books – To my own surprise, I ended up reading 20 books this year!!
  3. Trip to NYC – This did not happen – but we did go to DC and had a kidless weekend away in Sonoma
  4. Build a neighborhood free little library – YES! Did this and it brought me so much joy!
  5. Day dates with boys – I was not very consistent with this but did do some
  6. Switch to clean makeup – Done!
  7. Run a 5k – I actually laughed when I looked back at my list, I have no memory of wanting to do this!
  8. Go to the dermatologist – eek this did not happen… BUT I did get all my dental work done this year & went to my routine cleaning & have no new cavities or issues!
  9. Find a PCP – yes!
  10. Do 3 Day Refresh – maybe in 2023
  11. Get pictures off old macbook Done!! This was huge, pulling about 7,000 photos off my college computer!
  12. Do a 30 minute meditation monthly – I didn’t do this monthly but I crossed a huge meditation milestone of meditating for 500 days! And I did complete two different meditation courses this year.
  13. Take boys to Tilden / BADM 3x – We didn’t make it to either place once 😦
  14. Plan and Plant a spring / summer garden – yes the summer of tomatoes!
  15. Pay off mazda YES grown up stuff
  16. Take Juno on weekly walks – We didn’t do as many adventures as I’d liked but she got way more exercise than last year so calling it a win!
  17. Make an album of now – did not do this.
  18. Paint master bath / add shelving – nope. still have paint samples taped up lol.
  19. Take a social media Sabbath each week – YES! I did this most of the year and loved it!
  20. Go to a National Park – Arches in UT, was a major highlight this year!
  21. Try therapy – didn’t happen. thought about it a lot. lol.
  22. Shiplap entry way – also no.

Despite half of my list being incomplete, 2022 was a year that has some amazing memories, lots of fun and some tremendous personal growth. I hit a huge meditation milestone of 500 days, something that seemed impossible when I started! I left my kids and went on a solo girls trip! I stepped WAY out of my comfort zone & taught two group exercise classes. I put down my phone and picked up books, reading 20 books this year. I learned to use a jigsaw & nail gun and built a little free library for our neighborhood. We spent more time with family & cousins, we hosted birthdays and I kept decorating themed cakes. I drastically purged and simplified our home and belongings, everything from clothes, kitchen gadgets, to digital clutter. Oh and I survived a road trip with two toddlers from California to Utah!

The last few months of 2022 have been a barrage of high fevers, cancelled plans, sick kiddos, trips to the pediatrician and urgent care; pushing me to my outer limits. But reflecting on the year reminds us that it is so rarely as simple as a “good year” or a “bad year”. There were thousands of amazing moments this year and endless things to be thankful for. The purpose of the yearly list isn’t to have every single item checked off. Instead it’s to bring intention, thoughtfulness and fun, into what you want your year to hold. So that December doesn’t roll around and you realize you floated through the year, reacting to what was thrown at you.

A vital part of growth is allowing ourselves space to reflect. Being able to look back on moments that brought you joy, made you proud, things you may have handled differently etc. If reflection doesn’t come naturally – sometimes reading some simple prompts can open the gates of inspiration! Below are some prompts to get your reflections started.

Tomorrow I’ll be sharing my 23 for 2023 list! I’d love to hear what goals you crushed in 2022, dreams you have for this year or if you make a list yourself I’d love to see it!!

Monday Mindset – The Power of Reframing.

Reframing is the ability to change your life without actually changing your circumstances. It is a powerful shift that costs us nothing but can make a huge impact on our daily lives. This is not to say that you have to pretend sh*tty things are actually rainbows and blessings – that is toxic positivity. But instead considering things that we come across in our daily lives that we tell ourselves are problems or burdens. What mountains have we made out of molehills? What story are we perpetually telling ourselves? In theory reframing is great but IRL it can be harder to implement, especially if all you’ve known is to reflexively look at situations through a lens of criticism, blame or negativity. Below are some tips to actually make reframing something you can put into action versus just a far off concept that you’re never able to wrap your hands around!

Start finding the good – The harder you look for it the more you will find. The easiest and most effective way to start finding the good is something I’ve talked about before, gratitude. Simple gratitude lists will shift the way you see your day to day life and the more you do it the more powerful this practice becomes. It doesn’t have to be fancy or in-depth, keep it simple. Keep a gratitude list pinned to the top of the notes section in your phone. Next time you’re standing in a line instead of mindlessly scrolling see how many things you can find that you’re grateful for.

The power of pause – when you find yourself doing dishes and telling yourself “this sucks, there’s always dishes, I can never keep up, my kids make such a mess” pause! Try to create some space and reframe. Often times we can’t control what happens to us in life, the dishes will inevitably be there day after day, the unexpected work project, the cancelled babysitter, so much is out of our hands. But the control we have lies in how we choose to react and respond to our lives. There is immense power in seizing that control versus simply relying on old habits or built in reactions. Pausing and reframing takes practice like all of these – often times you won’t pause until well after you’ve complained about xyz, but even catching yourself later that day is progress. As you continue to reframe and look for the good it will get easier to catch yourself in real time. The first huge step is even just realizing you were building a negative narrative in your mind whether you notice a minute after or a day after, progress is progress!

Write. It. Out. Journaling is talking things out with yourself, a diy therapy session… How are you supposed to know what you want, or what’s bothering you, or how you actually feel, if you never give yourself a moment to be with your thoughts. In today’s world we are bombarded by stimulus through our phones. We so rarely turn inward to assess our inner dialogue. At the end of the day all this stimulus can leave us feeling some sort of way that can be difficult to pinpoint. Was it that rude interaction at the store or in traffic, was it the triggering tiktok that you stumbled upon, was it an off handed comment a friend made, was it a narrative your subconsciously told yourself? Writing can give us clarity. It can help us find the good.

Ultimately reframing, like most mindset changes doesn’t happen immediately. It takes practice, and each day present new circumstances and challenges. With mindfulness and mindset improvement it’s so important to remember the journey is not linear. On my own personal journey I’ve often felt the idea of two steps forward, one step back. I’ve thought “I’m writing gratitude, I’m meditating, why is this so hard, why am I still losing my cool and yelling at my kids?” And the reality is it’s because life, and motherhood is freaking hard and I’m human! Over the years I’ve learned how important it is to hold grace for myself the same way I give it to others. We are human and life is hard. But that is what makes it beautiful, and choosing to lean into our emotions and become more aware of our thoughts is powerful. It allows us to feel and live life more deeply, even if it feels like we move backwards from time to time.

Monday Mindset: Affirmations For Every Situation

Consider this: “We think in words, and these words have the power to limit us or to set us free; they can frighten us or evoke our courage. Similarly, the stories we tell ourselves about our own lives eventually becomes our lives.”

Dan Baker, What Happy People Know

Try This: Affirmations. I used to roll my eyes at the idea of affirmations, but science has shown us that affirmations are in fact a way to help alter our internal dialogue, that will otherwise gladly tell us: we aren’t good enough, smart enough, we’ll fail etc. For many of us if we let our subconsciouses run wild they will chatter at us in negative and anxiety ridden tones. It takes work to change our narratives but one of the most powerful ways we can do that is through affirmations.

Below you’ll find affirmations for most situations! It can sound so silly when you first start saying them. But other ways I like to incorporate affirmations are:

  • Write it on a sticky note and put it on a mirror you look at daily
  • Pick one or two to say daily at a specific time (ie: waking up / going to bed / rocking your kid etc.)
  • Save an affirmation as the background on your phone, when you’re going into a tough situation or experience. It’s the perfect easy reminder to see some words that should bring you calmness or courage!
  • Save my PDF version with these affirmations!
Affirmations for every situation PDFDownload

5 Ways to Stop Pushing Snooze

For years I bought into the limiting belief that I’m not a morning person, my old night shift working self loved spending all day in bed and having breakfast at 4pm. Now fast-forward to having two toddlers. Sleeping in all day just isn’t a possibility anymore. But I also quickly learned that mornings where I got up a 15-30 minutes before my kids I was suddenly more patient, calm, I felt like the morning started on my terms instead of whatever meltdown my three year was gonna choose to have at 7am. If you’ve tried waking up early and are in a constant standoff between you and the snooze button here are some tips that have helped me skip the snooze and get my mornings off to a more peaceful, intentional start!

  1. Lay your clothes out – have your clothes for the morning already set out. Whether you’re headed to work or working out, having your clothes picked out the night before makes getting dressed something you can do while still half asleep. There’s no riffling for that pair of legging you swore was clean. Have everything you need right there so you can shut your alarm off and start changing!
  2. Charge your phone across the room – This is the change that has helped me the MOST when it comes to getting up early… Having to physically get out of bed to shut your alarm off means your feet are on the ground and you’re physically “up”. You have to then make a decision of if you want to get back in bed. The snooze button and I have our battles but I know that button would be undefeated if I it was directly next to my bed. Bonus about charing your phone across the room is you cut down on mindless scrolling in bed, which gets me to sleep faster at night!
  3. Have a plan – Take a few minutes the night before and know what your plan is in the morning. Will you be working out, will you be taking your dog for a walk, getting some work tasks off your list? Reading? Our brains will look for any excuse or reason to push snooze. By taking a few minutes to plan ahead, having your laptop charged and set up so you can start on your list, knowing exactly what workout or where you’ll walk your dog, keeps us from having to make these decisions in the moment when we’re struggling to wake up already!
  4. Go to bed early – The best way to ensure you wake up earlier is to get more sleep!! Waking up earlier actually starts the night before. If i’m in bed after 11 the chances of my morning ritual happening are low!! Stop sacrificing tomorrow by staying up late the night before.
  5. Look forward to something – this can be a hot shower after your workout, your cup of coffee, getting to read uninterrupted, a delicious breakfast, enjoying the silence before your kids wake up. Having something you look forward to in the morning helps your brain remember why we’re dragging ourselves out of bed!

Monday Mindset: How to harness your hardships & why it matters!

We think it’s the happy experiences, the birthdays, the week long vacations, the promotions, that make us happy in life, but it’s not. Ultimately what allows us to find happiness and joy even for the smallest moments is in fact, hardships. How can you appreciate the warm sun on your face, if you’ve never known what it feels to be cold. The same is true in life. Glennon Doyle reminds us “The truest, most beautiful life never promises to be an easy one. We need to let go of the lie that it’s supposed to be”

All of our lives are shaped by a mix of circumstances, choices and luck or lack thereof. And “being happy” is deeply connected to our ability to find joy and optimism regardless of our circumstances.

Consider This: “Your worst memories don’t go away and they don’t get better. But you can get better. You are more than the sum of your suffering.”

Dan Baker, What Happy People Know

Your struggles ultimately leave you with this choice of allowing them to shape you for better or for worse. Choosing to do so isn’t as simple as a flick of a switch. It takes acknowledgment and reflection. For me personally, writing about my experiences has been key to allowing myself to learn and grow from that experience. I wrote a post about Chris’ encephalitis and how I really struggled to process that experience. A textbook trauma response to a situation I had yet to really come to terms with. I so desperately wanted to step around it, vehemently resisting reliving it or talking about it. I simply wanted to “move on”. The funny thing about trauma is, it doesn’t work that way. The harder you slam the door shut on it & the stronger it will boomerang back bursting open. Ignoring hardships or choosing not to engage is not processing. And you certainly can get better by ignoring it.

No matter what your struggles are, big or small they play a key role in your mindset. If you’ve allowed every struggle, every misstep to accumulate, if you’re holding on to blame, and grief, and anger it is undoubtedly weighing you down. Dan Baker puts it simply “other people can hurt your, but only you can victimize yourself”.

If you play this life game long enough you realize that bad ish happens to everyone. Even the happiest person you know has not had a life free from suffering. The magic happens in your response when life is throwing obstacles in your way. We get the opportunity to write our narrative. The story we tell ourselves becomes our life.

Try This: Harness your own hardships

Write! This is my biggest tip for transforming hardship. Write. Write about what it was like. The way it made you feel, give actual names to emotions that come up: helpless, disappointed, lonely, anxious, jealous etc. Whether it was a job you didn’t get, a string of bad luck, whether it was something life altering or something on a smaller scale, these are all opportunities for us to grow. You know how you feel better after a good cry, writing is very similar. You’re able to empty out your mind and your emotions and often will feel a weight lifted.

Reflect on the story you’re telling yourself – is it one of blame, insecurity, anger? Or is it a story that is hopeful, perseverant, joyful, energetic? The words we tell ourselves our incredibly powerful.

Give yourself time – Not every hardship is created equal. Some may effect us for longer or just take more time to sort through. And that is okay, after Chris was in the ICU I so badly just wanted to snap my fingers and for life go back to normal. When in reality it would take over a year before he felt like himself again & it would take me a whole other year to process from that experience.

Ask yourself “what can I learn from this experience”… Once you start writing a page or two a funny thing happens it all pours out!

Monday Mindset – The one habit that transformed motherhood

If I were to look back and try to pinpoint what set in motion all my mindset and habit changes over the last four years, one thing in particular stands out. Waking up ahead of my kids… This ability to safeguard a little bit of time for myself at the beginning of each day without a doubt transformed my motherhood.

When I started waking up early I was pregnant with Johnathan, Will had dropped down to one nap a day. Suddenly I was scrambling for time to get things done, uninterrupted. My day would start with fussing and crying and I would instantly feel behind. I had started my coaching business, and my to-do lists were long. I was feeling frustrated, short tempered and was quickly realizing I needed to change something. I started small, just 15 minutes ahead of when Wills sound machine would click off. I’d take a few minutes to wake up, maybe jot down a plan for the day, wash my face in silence, sit and pet Juno. This quickly increased to me waking up 30 min early so I could get my workout done first thing. An amazing thing happens when you start giving your body and your mind this space. You begin to CRAVE this silence, this peace. I pretty quickly noticed a shift. Mornings where I didn’t get up early felt tense, I was easily thrown into a bad mood, I was on edge. Mornings where I gave myself a few minutes to wake up allowed for a sense of calm and the ability to handle whatever came at me!

Now I know what you’re thinking “there’s no way I could wake up any earlier than I have to”, stick with me here. I want to be clear, I was never a morning person. I love to sleep in. My former nightshift self relished in getting to sleep until 5pm. However, for the season of life I’m in, with young children, sleeping in is not only unattainable but also not functional or efficient for my life. In this season, when my kids are at home the majority of the day and still need me for many things, I need to front-load my day. When I do this I’m happier, I’m more patient, I’m certainly more productive. I’m able to approach my kids and my family from a place of calm and compassion. Instead of waking to the onslaught of toddler demands, I’m able to exert a little control in how I start my day. If I want to listen to a podcast, if I want to sit in silence and drink coffee, if I want to meditate outside, I can. When I give myself this gift of space and time to wake up, I’m no longer thrown off or upset when I find my two year olds night time diaper malfunctioned or whatever unforeseen event is waiting for me when the rest of the house wakes up. The reality is there are few places throughout your day where you’re able to find some extra time, so giving yourself even a 15 minute cushion of time in the morning allows for you to feel less stressed and more prepared for the day. As mothers we act from a place of servitude, however resentment can rear it’s ugly head when you feel like you’re serving others from the moment your eyes open each day until you fall in bed that night.

** Important caveat here – there are seasons of your life where this is not possible and sleep takes priority, hello newborn bubble. If you are in a season like this, grace. Grace is your biggest friend. Give yourself a big serving of grace, take seconds if you need to, and know that this season will pass **

consider this:

We tend to wear our ability to get by on little sleep as some sort of badge of honor that validates our work ethic but what it is a profound failure of self respect and of priorities. Then nearly a quarter of us do something else that starts us out on the second wrong foot of the day. We reach for our cell phones within one minute of waking up. Over half of us are checking messages within ten minutes. The majority of people go from out cold to processing mountains of information within minutes every morning. There are only six cars that can go from zero to sixty in under two seconds. Like most cars, humans are not built for that kind of sudden transition, mentally or physically. 

Dan Baker, What Happy People Know

Try this: skip the AM scroll.

Pick a day or two this week to set your alarm 15-20 min early & hold off on immediately scrolling, instead focus on a transition. When we immediately start our days by staring into our prized little rectangles we are giving our energy to other peoples messages, emails, we begin subconsciously comparing and our minds are instantly drawn to things we thing we “should” be doing. When we start our days with high pressure or high stress, we program ourselves to stay in that state the rest of the day and it can be hard to self correct out. By giving ourselves even just a few minutes to transition we can drastically alter the tone of the day.

I’ll share the framework of my morning routine in an upcoming post, but know, it has seen many iterations through the years. And ultimately our needs and circumstances are all different. Some women will want this time to read, to make lists, to workout, to pray or to run their businesses. What works for me in this particular season may not serve you as well. It’s less about how you fill this time and more about creating time that serves YOU. If spending 5 min unloading the dishwasher before everyone is up will make you feel on top of your game do it. If spending 15 min reading while you drink coffee will energize you do it. Consider you pain-points. What is making your morning feel chaotic… is it trying to get ready while little hands grab at you, is it never having time or motivation to workout, is it trying to prep school lunches and make breakfast? Most of our morning tasks can be completed much faster when we’re alone, it’s those tiny people that drag efficiency down… love em’ but it’s true!

I would love to hear if you already do this, or if this is something you’ve tried but struggled with or something you’ve just never considered. For me, waking up 30 – 40 earlier than my kids gives me vastly more energy than staying in bed would for that same amount of time. It sets my day off on the right foot, I dictate the tone and the energy. Try it and see how your motherhood transforms!