5 Tips to Read More

Like most people, I loved reading when I was younger. But fell out of the habit once nursing school, night shifts, and newborn life took over. Over the last two years I really stepped back into reading and made a serious effort to recreate a habit that I had loved so much. I decided to put down my phone and picked up books instead. In 2021 I pushed myself to read 10 books, which may not sound like a lot but it was more than I had read in many years. It felt so good to remember what it felt like to get lost in other worlds, having to stay up late to find out how a book ends! Those 10 books completely re-energized me to prioritize reading into a sustainable habit again. Last year I pushed myself to double my reading goal ended up finishing the year reading 21 books! Today I thought I’d share some tips for fitting more reading into your life, even if you’re like me and live a busy toddler mom life.

  1. Stop reading books you don’t enjoy – if you don’t like a book. put.it.down. don’t force yourself to read books you don’t enjoy! life is too short. I used to force myself to keep reading out of principle, but the reality is you’ll actually read slower and less books if you’re forcing yourself to trudge through stuff you don’t like.
  2. Utilize apps to get free e books. I use a kindle and before I would go back and forth on if i wanted to spend the money on a kindle book, especially as I was getting back into reading and honestly didn’t know what books I enjoyed anymore… Then I found the libby app. Which basically lets you rent ebooks from library. The app is completely free all you need is a library card number, which you can easily get online! This set me free from the mental gymnastics I was doing about actually spending money on e books and allowed me to download books without the pressure of having to feel like it was “worth the money”. This is how I read 99% of my books is through the libby app! You’re able to rent a book for 21 days but pro tip if it’s taking you longer DON’T close out of the book on your kindle. If you leave it up you can keep reading beyond 21 days.
  3. Know you’ll be interrupted – Life with two littles means interruptions, but I still read around them. While they’re playing outside or in their rooms, or when they’re watching a show. I’ll be reading. But I know I’ll get interrupted. When we’re outside I’ll play with them and then tell them “mommys gonna read her book know while you guys play”, and of course there are still interruptions but the more I do it the more they become used to it. My almost 5 year old asked me the other day all about my book, we talked about how words make sentences and how books tell stories and it was such a great conversation for my guy who is on the cusp of reading himself. The key for reading around your kids is don’t wait for *perfect* conditions. Doing this has helped me read so.much.more! Plus the example this sets is so powerful.
  4. Keep a running to-read list: I use the notes app on my phone and have a note dedicated to books I want to read. Whenever I’m at work and someone suggest a book or I’m on IG and someone talks about a book they love I add it to my list. So when I finish one I always have something else on my list to read. I also keep books on hold on the libby app!
  5. Take a book to bed: A few years ago I started charging my phone across the room from my bed. Mostly so I would ensure I would actually get up when my alarm was going off. But instead of taking my phone to bed scrolling until I was falling asleep I now go to bed with my kindle. Some nights I only manage to read a few pages before my eyes close. Other nights I will literally read for HOURS. This has drastically changed how much I read. And is such a better way to fall asleep. We spend a lot of time looking at our phones, being pulled by dings and pings. But reading really forces you to focus which will ultimately lead to better sleep!

What I’m reading currently: Lessons in Chemistry

Sending your kids to school in the school shooting era…

So much of parenthood is wondering if you’re doing the right thing… Am I reading to them enough, are they eating enough vegetables, am I giving them plenty of experiences, how much red40 dye have they consumed. But after every school shooting I’m consumed with… am I doing the right thing by sending them to school? After each one a part of me feels more and more unsure.

It feels ignorant to think “it won’t happen here” because I have absolutely NO way of knowing that. The Columbine shooting was 24 years ago. Since then there have been 376 school shooting. 46 happened last year. And since Columbine 338,000 children have experienced gun violence at school. It feels like there is no end in sight. We have allowed an entire generation of children to be traumatized by gun violence. (statistics from https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/interactive/school-shootings-database/ )

When you know better you do better. Except for the nearly a quarter century we have let kids go to school and not come home. Instead of taking action we’ve argued about door strength, arming teachers, allowing a place of learning and fun and friendship to also be a place where our children have to think about where they would hide if someone decided to come shoot at them today during circle time. I know every child loses their innocence, but forcing our children into active shooter drills before they know how to tie their shoes isn’t how I imagined it going.

In the late 80’s we decided it was unsafe to smoke while pregnant. It was hurting kids.

I wonder what my children and kids going to school now will think when they are adults. Will they ask us why we allowed this to go on for so long? What will be the result of growing up doing active shooter drills or expecting them to learn in an environment where they’re wondering about their safety. Having to have discussions about mortality and unimaginable evil, with kids who have barely begun to read. I can’t help but feel like I’m failing my kids, sending my kids to school when I can’t know that they’ll be safe. I wouldn’t let someone I felt iffy about watch my kid. But each day I send my kid to school wondering the uniquely American thought of, will today be the day someone brings a military style weapon and decides to blow kids to bits? We know better, we can do better, and most importantly our children deserve better. It’s like the doctor told us to stop smoking while pregnant because it is hurting our kid, and as a country we are just staring the doctor in the face, chain smoking.

After Uvalde, where 21 students were killed, I really struggled – struggled with being on the cusp of having a school aged child. Of getting ready to send him off to kindergarten and really questioning what was best. And here we are again, not even a year later. And I can’t help be flooded with all those questions again. I don’t really have answers or a true conclusion to this post. I know a lot of moms and parents feel the same sense of helplessness, of feeling stuck, of wanting to give your kids the best, of wondering if what we’re doing is right.

I want to encourage you if you feel paralyzed by this to a) stop scrolling and b) doing something tangible. I decided this evening after far too much scrolling to step back from social media, I donated to moms demand action and I went to 5 calls to find my representatives phone numbers and use their pre written scripts to DEMAND action against gun violence, to close loop holes, to put a ban on high capacity magazines and assault style rifles. When the day comes and my boys ask me about school shootings, I don’t want to say well I shared a LOT of memes, I might as well say I gave thoughts and prayers. I want them to know I cared enough to do everything in my power to make change happen.

February Round Up

February flew by! We had a trip to the snow – which was so fun & my birthday. This round comes a little late thanks to the revolving door of preschool colds lol. But I’m rounding up the books, mediations, recipes & products I’ve loved this month!

Books: Trevor Noah Born a Crime, The Nature Fix, The Idea of You

Born a Crime was about Trevor Noah growing up in South Africa in the midst of Apartheid. I loved this book & thought it was so moving to his stories from such a time in history. I was interested in learning about how he moved out of South Africa and ultimately hosted the Daily Show but this book is really focusing on his childhood and young adult life. 4/5 stars!

The Nature Fix – I got 60% through before I just had to put it down. I’m a firm believer in not forcing yourself to read a book you aren’t enjoying and this one was just wayyyy too science-y and honestly repetitive. I normally love nonfiction but this just wasn’t for me! 1.5 / 5 stars

The Idea of You – an easy, fun, spicy read that I consumed in probably 5 days. The plot line was simple but a quick engaging read!

Recipes: Scroll to the bottom to find the full recipe, but Acai bowls were my top craving when I was pregnant will Will. And I haven’t eaten many since. This month I decided to have the boys help make their own and they have been loving getting to chop their own fruit, pick toppings and assemble them. It’s been a fun afternoon activity!

Meditations: Two of my favorite meditations this month have been by Sarah Blondin.

Re-awaken yourself to love & joy This 11 min meditation is a great reminder that we so often forget to stay awake to our choice, our choice to ground ourselves in love.

Learning to surrender – This 8 min meditation is about allowing the universe to unfold as it is meant to. The harder we try to force, or constrict the more resistance we meet.

Products:

Nuud deodorant – I’ve tried a lot of natural deodarants (schmittds, native, toms) and they all kinda stink lol. This deodorant has ultra clean ingredients and I only have to put it on 2 – 3 times a WEEK! and just a tiny dab!! The first tube I got literally lasted me six months! 10/10!

This nursing work bag – I recently upgraded my work bag. For years I was using a large Longchamp tote bag, but it always ended up turning into a mess of random stuff at the bottom & my the little tote I used to carry my lunch would never quite fit. So last month I upgraded to this bag that I found on amazon. I love that it’s completely wipeable. It has SO many pockets, including the outside one that fits my XL hydroflask.

The best indoor dog toy – if you live in California and you have a dog, they are probably like Juno and a little downtrodden with all the rain we’ve had. For Christmas I got Juno this chuckit indoor ball and I just bought a few more because of how much she loves it. She’s had it for almost 3 months and it’s just finally starting to weaken which in dog toy world is amazing. It’s ultra light weight which means it’s not too loud to throw in our house after the kids go to bed, and I’m not worried if they throw it because it can’t cause too much damage! We also have the roller version!

Lastly this coat! I got this as my birthday present to myself. California and it’s never ending winter pushed me to finally buy this coat I’ve literally thought about for over a year. And I’m here to say it did.not.disapoint. It is seriously SO warm. And I have worn it nearly every day in February! There’s a reason it has 25K nearly 5 star reviews!

January Roundup

This year I’m ending each month sharing recipes, books, meditations, hacks or products that I’ve loved as well as a little recap!

  1. Breakfast Chorizo Tacos – we had these on our getaway in the beginning of the month and i’ve been making them 2x a week! I saute 1/2 a pack of chorizo with 4 eggs (for two of us), heat tortillas in our toaster oven with cheese so it’s all melty and top with thinly sliced red onion, avocado, salsa or anything else. It’s been by far my favorite breakfast this month!
  2. The 1000 hours outside app. I made spending one thousand hours outside a goal for 2023 & I’ve been loving tracking our progress on the app. It has been especially motivating to get outside despite all the rain California saw this month! We’ve spent nearly 45 hours outside this month & I really do think without this goal and the convenience of the app we wouldn’t have gotten nearly as close to that!
  3. This lulu lemon hoodie dupe from amazon. It’s so warm & great quality. I’ve been wearing this pretty much non stop since it arrived.
  4. DIY’s – This month we tackled extending the boys treehouse and making it significantly safer with an added railing, that small project totally lit the DIY fire & I’ve taken to tackling J’s closet and adding shelving.
  5. The books I read this month: 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and The Paris Apartment. I love alternating between fiction and nonfiction. Both of these had been on my to read list for a minute! I quoted 4000 weeks in my latest Monday Mindset post – but he gives interesting perspectives about this concept of “using time wisely” or trying to get the upper hand on time. The Paris Apartment was a great quick, suspenseful read.
  6. Toddler Rainsuits – I ordered these at the begining of the month when the multiple atomospheric rivers were pummeling california. And these are legit. The boys stay totally dry and warm inside these & they wash clean no matter how much mud they’re stomping through! totally recommend if you have a kiddo who loves playing in the rain. Afterall, there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing! We definitely wouldn’t have logged 45 hours outside this month without these.
  7. This meditation which calls on us to bring more gratitude into our daily lives.

January has truly felt SO long. Not only did we manage to have a kid free getaway, we also managed a hospital visit for J’s asthma, visits from both sets of grandparents, lots of shifts at the hospital, a couple of home projects, and finishing two books.

I’m excited for February, it’s my birthday month, we’re also taking the boys to the snow for two nights & I’m excited to finish J’s closet, and start a new Valentine’s Tradition with the boys.

Monday Mindset: Our power struggle with time.

Consider this:

We don’t get or have time at all – instead we are time. We’ll never get the upper hand in our relationships with the moments of our lives because we are nothing but those moments.

Last Sunday I was sleeping in a dark hotel room with my husband when I heard his alarm going off for the second time. Only to quickly realize it wasn’t his alarm, it was a phone call. A phone call saying our two year old sons asthma was bad and we needed to come home. Luckily our “getaway” was only ten minutes away. If you’re a parent you know you don’t need to be 500 miles away to feel recharged, all you need is a hotel bed, black out curtains and a night or two without a toddler, iykyk. After getting home, giving Johnathan his nebulizer treatments we realized he wasn’t improving all that much. And so, in all too familiar fashion, we filled a bag with necessities and headed for the hospital. Our little bubba ended up needing to stay in the hospital for 36 hours, getting some extra oxygen his body needed.

In the past five years I’ve sat and laid next to each of my children and husband in hospital beds and each time I’m hit with this paradoxical feeling of having time slow to a crawl within the walls of your hospital room while the world outside goes about their lives. Often in our daily lives we are consumed with ideas of not “wasting time” or the pressure of “living in the moment”. We innately begin to view time as a resource that we can manipulate or control, but there’s no greater reality check on your lack of control than a hospital. In a hospital you’re forced to surrender any illusion of control over time or finitude you think you have. As much as we want to wield control over our time the universe will continue to show us that no one can master time, that you can’t outrun the flipped hourglass that is each of our lives.

In 4000 weeks, Time Management for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman describes “a more fruitful approach to the challenge of living more fully in the moment starts from noticing that you are, in fact, always already living in the moment anyway, whether you like it or not. To try to live in the moment implies that you’re somehow separate from “the moment” and thus in a position to either succeed or fail at living in it.” So stop beating yourself up for “not living in the moment” enough. You have no choice you are living in the moment, it’s how you to choose to give your attention and experience those moments that matter.

While we were in the hospital last week I kept thinking about this quote. Usually living in the moment is associated with saying yes to the spontaneous invitation, watching the sunrise, dancing without inhibition, fun, light things. Yet there I was, with the Cars 2 movie playing for the third time in 30 hours, laying next to my son, trying to memorize his little curls and the way he rolls his blanket between his hands while simultaneously sucking his thumb, and I could not have “lived in the moment” more. It was a moment I would never have chosen for myself, but it was my reality. Ask any mom about the paradox that is time. The days can drag on, the phases that feel never ending, and yet suddenly you have a walking, talking toddler and you don’t understand how so much time has already passed. This feeling of chasing time, of wanting to savor every minute of it, of older generations reminding us how quickly it all really flies by can add pressure to make sure we’re doing THE most. When what would benefit us the most is to stop splitting our attention, stop trying to see how much we can cram into our day but instead shifting our focus to our focus. What makes our lives meaningful are our experiences. But in order to truly experience something we have to give our attention to it. Burkeman notes “to have any meaningful experience you must be able to focus on it, at least a bit. Otherwise, are you really having it at all? Can you have an experience you don’t experience?”

Things like meditation and breathwork train our brains to pause. To allow room for focus in a world that is filled with pings and dings, devices that are constantly pulling our focus in a hundred different directions.

I snapped this photo this week, we were reading books on the couch before bed, Chris was reading Dragons Love Tacos, and Johnathan held my hand. And I couldn’t stop looking at that little hand inside mine. I gave that little hand all my attention and focus, feeling the warmth from it, how his little fingers gripped onto my palm, the tiny veins that run along the top of his hand, the calmness of the moment. It was hard to believe a few days prior we were in the hospital and now we’re back at home, in this moment.

I hope this post encourages you to slow down, to draw more attention to the moments you’re already living it. Whether they’re the same bedtime routine you’ve grown tired of, or a new destination, or lifes cruel realities. I hope you can find moments to take in and fully experience for all that they are.

23 in 2023

For the past four years instead of new years resolutions, I’ve made a list to help bring intention, thoughtfulness and whimsy into the year. I make these lists without the pressure the everything must.get.done. Instead I try to pick a mixture of little tasks that I’ve been putting off (get my sons birth certificate, get dental work done, etc.), things I want to try (new hikes, new recipes, new travel destinations), and then some broader goals like decluttering, start meditating. Yesterday I shared my 2022 wrapped and what got completed on last years list. You can also read about the origin of this idea in my 2021 post, here!

So here’s my list for 2023!!

Monday Mindset: 2022 Wrapped

The week after Christmas and before the New Year is inherently made for reflection. It’s hard not to look back at the last 12 months, no matter what they held for you, without some kind of pause. Most of our years are filled with a mixture of ups and downs. Last year I shared my tradition of making a list for each year (20 for 2020, 21 for 2021, etc.) I wrote about the origin of this idea and what kinds of things fill this list in a post here . But the idea is that broad, overarching resolutions are ineffective and typically lose their shine rapidly. Filling a list with a mixture of small tasks, fun things, and bigger goals and checking in on the list through out the year is a great alternative to resolutions! Admittedly coming up with over 20 items can feel a little daunting so you could easily have the same effect with a list of 10 or 15 things. Below I’m sharing my 2022 list & some other milestones that happened!

22 in 2022

  1. Get family photos taken – Done! And SO happy with how they turned out!
  2. Read 12 books – To my own surprise, I ended up reading 20 books this year!!
  3. Trip to NYC – This did not happen – but we did go to DC and had a kidless weekend away in Sonoma
  4. Build a neighborhood free little library – YES! Did this and it brought me so much joy!
  5. Day dates with boys – I was not very consistent with this but did do some
  6. Switch to clean makeup – Done!
  7. Run a 5k – I actually laughed when I looked back at my list, I have no memory of wanting to do this!
  8. Go to the dermatologist – eek this did not happen… BUT I did get all my dental work done this year & went to my routine cleaning & have no new cavities or issues!
  9. Find a PCP – yes!
  10. Do 3 Day Refresh – maybe in 2023
  11. Get pictures off old macbook Done!! This was huge, pulling about 7,000 photos off my college computer!
  12. Do a 30 minute meditation monthly – I didn’t do this monthly but I crossed a huge meditation milestone of meditating for 500 days! And I did complete two different meditation courses this year.
  13. Take boys to Tilden / BADM 3x – We didn’t make it to either place once 😦
  14. Plan and Plant a spring / summer garden – yes the summer of tomatoes!
  15. Pay off mazda YES grown up stuff
  16. Take Juno on weekly walks – We didn’t do as many adventures as I’d liked but she got way more exercise than last year so calling it a win!
  17. Make an album of now – did not do this.
  18. Paint master bath / add shelving – nope. still have paint samples taped up lol.
  19. Take a social media Sabbath each week – YES! I did this most of the year and loved it!
  20. Go to a National Park – Arches in UT, was a major highlight this year!
  21. Try therapy – didn’t happen. thought about it a lot. lol.
  22. Shiplap entry way – also no.

Despite half of my list being incomplete, 2022 was a year that has some amazing memories, lots of fun and some tremendous personal growth. I hit a huge meditation milestone of 500 days, something that seemed impossible when I started! I left my kids and went on a solo girls trip! I stepped WAY out of my comfort zone & taught two group exercise classes. I put down my phone and picked up books, reading 20 books this year. I learned to use a jigsaw & nail gun and built a little free library for our neighborhood. We spent more time with family & cousins, we hosted birthdays and I kept decorating themed cakes. I drastically purged and simplified our home and belongings, everything from clothes, kitchen gadgets, to digital clutter. Oh and I survived a road trip with two toddlers from California to Utah!

The last few months of 2022 have been a barrage of high fevers, cancelled plans, sick kiddos, trips to the pediatrician and urgent care; pushing me to my outer limits. But reflecting on the year reminds us that it is so rarely as simple as a “good year” or a “bad year”. There were thousands of amazing moments this year and endless things to be thankful for. The purpose of the yearly list isn’t to have every single item checked off. Instead it’s to bring intention, thoughtfulness and fun, into what you want your year to hold. So that December doesn’t roll around and you realize you floated through the year, reacting to what was thrown at you.

A vital part of growth is allowing ourselves space to reflect. Being able to look back on moments that brought you joy, made you proud, things you may have handled differently etc. If reflection doesn’t come naturally – sometimes reading some simple prompts can open the gates of inspiration! Below are some prompts to get your reflections started.

Tomorrow I’ll be sharing my 23 for 2023 list! I’d love to hear what goals you crushed in 2022, dreams you have for this year or if you make a list yourself I’d love to see it!!

The Magic of Toy Rotation, and Your Quickstart Guide!

If you’re a parent you know how quickly toys can get out of hand. And maybe you’re wading through a sea of toys currently, feeling the burden of the plastic and clutter, the frustration of toy rooms looking like war zones. Not being able to take a step without being impaled by plastic pieces. Or are you at a loss for why your kids have hundreds of toys but won’t play with anything for longer than a few minutes? Well science has shown us kids do not do well with an overwhelming amount of choices. When all the toys are out all at once, not only does that make a huge mess BUT your child feels the chaotic energy. They are overwhelmed with choice and move from toy to toy rapidly. So what’s the fix? Toy Rotations!!

Rotating toys in small, manageable groups on a frequent basis takes away that feeling of overwhelm. The toys no longer appear hectic, and by giving them less you allow them the ability focus and play MORE. Less toys also boosts creativity, and has been shown to increase patience.

Besides the benefits your kids will get, YOUR life will also change mama!! Toy rotations will drastically improve the clutter and clean up when it comes to toys! We only put out 5-10% of the toys we own. Which means cleaning up takes less than 10 minutes. I have four baskets that hold some combination of vehicles, animals, constructing toys. The boys know each basket is for each thing and then it’s a simple as everyone grabbing a basket and picking up. The remaining items go on the second row of our toy shelf. This is a super manageable and approachable way for kids to clean up. No more feeling like “why bother” or taking an entire weekend to organize / clean your play room.

Where to start?

A starting point is to take inventory of the toys you have and loosely group them into genres. Then try to have one option from each genre available for your child to play with, the genres remain the same but the toys rotate. There is no single perfect way to rotate toys, it will depend on your child and interests and there are no rules when it comes to this. If you don’t have a ton of different vehicles or animals don’t feel like you suddenly have to go out and buy them… just split up the cars you put out and save the second batch for another rotation. Below is a loose frame work so you can get an idea of genres and toys, but it will look different for everyone based on what they have and kids interests.

Bigger Toys:

Things like a play kitchen that invites open ended and small world play are amazing & don’t have to rotate out. If there are toys that your children play with every.single.day don’t feel like you suddenly have to put them away for 3 weeks! For us there are a handful of toys we always have out: their pretend vacuum, guitars and a little bumblebee car they zoom around on. Those are the three things that are being used almost daily. Below is a picture of our actual toy space. In their rooms they don’t have any toys… Each boy has a basket of stuffed animals and a bookshelf.

Our actual toy space.

How often to rotate?

If the toys are off the shelf and on the ground in play you know your toy rotation is solid. When things start staying put on the shelf, switch it up. Or when items are being used for a completely different purpose (my kids in particular love to play “master disaster” and it’s where they just make a huge pile (read: mess) of their toys…. That’s usually a sign to me that they’ve lost interested in the toys that are out. When the dinosaurs make the switch from going on adventures to being part of the the master disaster it’s time to switch them out. That being said, rotating every 1-2 weeks is usually plenty. I will switch out puzzles more frequently because they may not hold interest for 1-2 weeks. The key here is to observe. Notice what your child is playing with or has lost interest in and adapt your rotation accordingly.

Where / how to store the toys?

Clear bins are my BFF for toy storage, I want to be able to see what is what so I can quickly switch toys out. Out of sight, out of reach, therefore out of mind, is best for toys not in rotation. At our old apartment I stored them in Wills closet which had a door. The boys closets in our new home are open, which does invite more pointing to toys from my two year old. But they are familiar with the fact that we rotate toys and if they really want something (I usually need to rotate anyway). Target has 6 packs of small bins for under $10 and i’ve used those to keep things organized. My goal for 2023 is to add more shelving to their closets.

Takeaways

  • There are no rules when it comes to toy rotations, so don’t get caught up on making it perfect.
  • Be clear to your kids that the toys are not being thrown away or going away forever. This should be a positive, fun experience. Frame it as creating a space for THEM to have the most fun and not to have to spend hours cleaning!
  • Categorize your toys the best you can & go from there. Remember to try to have a toy from each genre / category represented.
  • Enjoy the mental and physical space that removing toys will bring you.
J enjoying a new rotation 🙂

Monday Mindset – The Power of Reframing.

Reframing is the ability to change your life without actually changing your circumstances. It is a powerful shift that costs us nothing but can make a huge impact on our daily lives. This is not to say that you have to pretend sh*tty things are actually rainbows and blessings – that is toxic positivity. But instead considering things that we come across in our daily lives that we tell ourselves are problems or burdens. What mountains have we made out of molehills? What story are we perpetually telling ourselves? In theory reframing is great but IRL it can be harder to implement, especially if all you’ve known is to reflexively look at situations through a lens of criticism, blame or negativity. Below are some tips to actually make reframing something you can put into action versus just a far off concept that you’re never able to wrap your hands around!

Start finding the good – The harder you look for it the more you will find. The easiest and most effective way to start finding the good is something I’ve talked about before, gratitude. Simple gratitude lists will shift the way you see your day to day life and the more you do it the more powerful this practice becomes. It doesn’t have to be fancy or in-depth, keep it simple. Keep a gratitude list pinned to the top of the notes section in your phone. Next time you’re standing in a line instead of mindlessly scrolling see how many things you can find that you’re grateful for.

The power of pause – when you find yourself doing dishes and telling yourself “this sucks, there’s always dishes, I can never keep up, my kids make such a mess” pause! Try to create some space and reframe. Often times we can’t control what happens to us in life, the dishes will inevitably be there day after day, the unexpected work project, the cancelled babysitter, so much is out of our hands. But the control we have lies in how we choose to react and respond to our lives. There is immense power in seizing that control versus simply relying on old habits or built in reactions. Pausing and reframing takes practice like all of these – often times you won’t pause until well after you’ve complained about xyz, but even catching yourself later that day is progress. As you continue to reframe and look for the good it will get easier to catch yourself in real time. The first huge step is even just realizing you were building a negative narrative in your mind whether you notice a minute after or a day after, progress is progress!

Write. It. Out. Journaling is talking things out with yourself, a diy therapy session… How are you supposed to know what you want, or what’s bothering you, or how you actually feel, if you never give yourself a moment to be with your thoughts. In today’s world we are bombarded by stimulus through our phones. We so rarely turn inward to assess our inner dialogue. At the end of the day all this stimulus can leave us feeling some sort of way that can be difficult to pinpoint. Was it that rude interaction at the store or in traffic, was it the triggering tiktok that you stumbled upon, was it an off handed comment a friend made, was it a narrative your subconsciously told yourself? Writing can give us clarity. It can help us find the good.

Ultimately reframing, like most mindset changes doesn’t happen immediately. It takes practice, and each day present new circumstances and challenges. With mindfulness and mindset improvement it’s so important to remember the journey is not linear. On my own personal journey I’ve often felt the idea of two steps forward, one step back. I’ve thought “I’m writing gratitude, I’m meditating, why is this so hard, why am I still losing my cool and yelling at my kids?” And the reality is it’s because life, and motherhood is freaking hard and I’m human! Over the years I’ve learned how important it is to hold grace for myself the same way I give it to others. We are human and life is hard. But that is what makes it beautiful, and choosing to lean into our emotions and become more aware of our thoughts is powerful. It allows us to feel and live life more deeply, even if it feels like we move backwards from time to time.

Monday Mindset: Affirmations For Every Situation

Consider this: “We think in words, and these words have the power to limit us or to set us free; they can frighten us or evoke our courage. Similarly, the stories we tell ourselves about our own lives eventually becomes our lives.”

Dan Baker, What Happy People Know

Try This: Affirmations. I used to roll my eyes at the idea of affirmations, but science has shown us that affirmations are in fact a way to help alter our internal dialogue, that will otherwise gladly tell us: we aren’t good enough, smart enough, we’ll fail etc. For many of us if we let our subconsciouses run wild they will chatter at us in negative and anxiety ridden tones. It takes work to change our narratives but one of the most powerful ways we can do that is through affirmations.

Below you’ll find affirmations for most situations! It can sound so silly when you first start saying them. But other ways I like to incorporate affirmations are:

  • Write it on a sticky note and put it on a mirror you look at daily
  • Pick one or two to say daily at a specific time (ie: waking up / going to bed / rocking your kid etc.)
  • Save an affirmation as the background on your phone, when you’re going into a tough situation or experience. It’s the perfect easy reminder to see some words that should bring you calmness or courage!
  • Save my PDF version with these affirmations!
Affirmations for every situation PDFDownload