Tag: mindfulmotherhood

February Round up

The month might be shorter than most but it always feels jam packed! February meant the start of baseball practices for the boys, a trip to Tahoe (see our trip here), celebrating Valentines Day & my birthday at the end of the month. We had some pretty big rain storms at the beginning of the month which lead to lots of throwing our rainsuits on and jumping in puddles. Here’s a little glimpse into what we got into this month, recipes I loved this month, books I read, where we’re at on our 1K hours outside and my decluttering challenge! I also posted an essay on the phase of motherhood you can read it here: Legos in the Laundry

This month I joined a volunteer organization that bakes birthday kids for Foster kids who otherwise may not get a cake. I baked my first cake for the organization this month. It was a batman themed cake for a 15 year old. I have loved baking my boys cakes and the idea that there are kids out there that won’t be made to feel special or celebrated on their birthday, pulls at my heart. It really felt like the perfect fit as a way to give back to my community, spread joy & use skills I already have. I joined the bay area chapter face book group and I’m so impressed with all the amazing bakers. Also this brought up so many important conversations with my own kids. We talked about how fortunate we are and how we never know other peoples circumstances. Not to mention just broadening their horizons that there are kids who are only getting a cake because someone like myself is making it. Before we can even think about teaching our children gratitude we first have to teach them awareness and noticing. So exposing them to truths in age appropriate ways can foster gratitude! Here’s pic of the cake I did, I love the way it turned out and I loved the recipe the organization had in their resource center for black frosting that won’t stain teeth.

My Dark Knight cake!

Recipes I’ve been loving:

Protein cookie dough: I’m usually underwhelmed by high protein desserts because they never really taste as good as I’d like. but this cookie dough legit tastes like you’re eating cookie dough. I’ve been making it on repeat all month long. Just combine 1/2 cup almond flour, 1/2 vanilla protein powder (I’ve been using this one), 1/4 maple syrup, 3 tbsp melted coconut oil and 1/3 cup mini chocolate chips. I combine in a bowl until all mixed up and then spread out onto parchment paper. I usually place another parchment paper over it and flatten to desired thickness. Then chill in the fridge or freezer and cut into squares. This has been my go to snack when I’m craving something sweet.

kimchi fried rice – I made it with chicken but honestly you could put any protein in it. I’m making it again this week. 10/10 I used this recipe . I think next time I make it I’m gonna use shrimp.

Shrimp spring rolls. I’ve also been making these ahead of time for easy lunches. I bought a pack of rice paper wraps off amazon and have been trying different additions to my spring rolls. Right now I’m loving a mix of shrimp, mint, cilantro and bean sprouts with a spicy peanut sauce. It’s so crunchy and good.

Books I read this month:

The Great Alone – my favorite book this month. I love Kristen Hannah. I love her writing style and her stories are always so emotional.

Small Things Everywhere – This was our bookclub book. It was super short, a little strange. lol. By no means a bad book, but just hard to understand what would actually be important in the book since it was literally only 100 pages.

Jesus and John Wayne – This was a political non-fiction book about how the evangelicals and their impact in american politics. It was as dense as it sounds lol.

After I do – quick romance read. My second Taylor Jenkins Reid book of the year and this one didn’t disappoint!

Slow read of War & Peace – I’m still chugging along. This month I kinda fell behind and was having to read multiple chapters a sitting. In March my goal is to really try to stick to the one chapter a day plan!

podcast that I loved: Dr. Becky – how to not raise an asshole. – I love Dr. Becky her podcast and book is such a powerful resource for parents. And this podcast episode seriously knocked it out of the park with talking to our kids about gratitude and our ideas behind raising entitled children. I listened to this episode twice taking notes to pass on to my husband! 10/10.

As Far as:

Decluttering Challenge: I have a decluttering goal of purging 2025 items from our home this year. So in February I purged a little over 300 items total. This is definitely a hard challenge but it’s been fun to track.

1000 hours outside: in February we logged 51 hours outside, bringing our total to 122 hours for the year. Like I mentioned earlier in the post the weather was pretty dreary at the beginning of the month. And now we’re in full swing when it comes to baseball so I’m sure those hours will tick up as the weather continues to get better.

Looking forward – we are taking the boys to Monster Jam in March and have some fun things planned around Spring break including a glamping trip with friends and of course loads of baseball as well as some little projects I’m working on at our house.

xoxo

Tahoe 25′

Last week we drove up to Tahoe for our yearly trip to the snow. This is always a top request from William, he is my snow lover and could play outside in it all day. We had the best time sledding, having snowball fights, soaking in the hot tub, playing uno & scrabble, drinking hot chocolate and watching Toby experience snow for the first time too. We also stayed super close to the lake so we were able to catch a gorgeous sunset before a dinner in town. This kicks off our 2025 travel and this might be one of my favorite snow trips to date. Long before Chris and I had kids and even before we were married we went on a trip to Tahoe with a bunch of friends and going back up there in the winter with snow all around always makes me nostalgic for that first trip we went on allll the way back in 2012!

Legos in the Laundry

Legos in the laundry, that’s the new season of parenthood I’m in. We’ve somehow slipped out of monthly milestones, developmental leaps and counting each new word. We’ve entered a world of creativity, imagination and joy. A world that consists of small holes in my yard filled with plastic dinosaurs, lego creations that fall out when I open the dryer door, scribbled notes and detailed treasure maps taped to the walls of my house. Brotherly bike races, obstacle courses and tickle fights, overflowing boxes of “treasures”, nerf darts in every corner, mixed up potions, swords and masks and a dozen costumes in one day. Leaving the baby season and squarely being in the kid season feels like a big deal. I equate it to the feeling of turning 25. Where it suddenly feels old, but in reality you’re still quite young. This phase feels big and so much older, but in the same breath I recognize I still am needed for middle of the night tuck-ins, tying loose shoelaces, or getting something off the top shelf.

The heartbreakingly beautiful part about parenthood is that it really is all a phase. The sleepless nights, the spit up, the separation anxiety, the babbles, the step,step,stumble, the handprints all over your windows, the blowouts. It all fleeting, which inevitably means it’s bittersweet. The idea that tomorrow your kids are a tiny bit older, a tiny bit bigger. The days blend into weeks, weeks into months, and before you know it, it’s been two years since you changed a diaper. Suddenly the bottles are gone and replaced with cups your kids can fill themselves.

There are moments in the motherhood when you desperately want to freeze time. Those newborn cuddles & coo’s. The way that little hand slips into yours. The slobbery kisses. And moments you wish to rush through, phases where you are simply surviving. There’s no capacity for anything extra. Days where your best looks like simply keeping everyone fed and alive (yourself included). Society tells us don’t blink you’ll miss it, soak it up, cherish it all, enjoy every moment. That mentality puts an unattainable pressure on moms to feel like they have to love every stage, or else! The overt dismissal that parenting is the single most difficult balancing act on the planet. It takes from every part of you. You sacrifice your body, your time, your sleep. However the dichotomy of parenthood is: it can also absolutely be the biggest, hardest, most beautiful journey you embark on.

As I exit one phase and enter another I wonder: how do you hold on to something that is slipping through your fingers? At some point along the way I ditched the pressure to “love every moment because one day I’ll miss it”. And instead focus on being present, acknowledging where we are in that moment. The good and the bad. The parts that challenge me, the parts that make me question if I’m doing it right at all, as well as the parts that make my heart explode. Giving my kids my full attention, sitting on the floor with them, indulging and submersing myself in their world, taking my shoes off and playing chase in the grass. Reconnecting with my inner child. These help feel like I’m extending my memories somehow. Maybe one day the memories will be easier to access because I wasn’t distracted and instead I was truly there. When I’m older I hope the cool grass between my toes transports me to games of chase, picnics outside, backyard soccer matches. I hope the lone lego reminds of all the starships, rovers, cars and castles that were built. I hope a cup of chocolate milk reminds me of all loud dinners with messy faces and knock knock jokes. These are same dinners that I currently have a love hate relationship with. There are nights where the protesting of the homemade meal, the inevitable poop joke, the invasion of personal space are too much for 6pm. But I’m acutely aware that one day it’ll be my husband and I at an empty, quiet table again, so I soften. I join in on the jokes, I shoot my husband a knowing smile & we often exchange the phrase “this is what I thought it’d be like”.

Today if you read this and you are caught in a simply surviving phase remember, you are doing your best and that is good enough. Not every stage of motherhood fits nicely into social media squares. It’s okay to dislike the phase you’re in and take solace in knowing it’s literally that. A phase. A new one will greet, often at the crux of when you think you can’t take much more.

Sunday Somethings No. 11

This past week feels like a blur. On Tuesday night at Will’s soccer practice Johnathan fell and broke his arm 😦 It was such an innocuous fall but he landed just right on an outstretched arm that he found himself with a radial head fracture. Of course these things happen the only night of the week Chris is at a dinner in SF. So I loaded the boys up and off to the ER we went. We ended up home and splinted by 10:30 pm. And then of course the next day was just adjusting to our new normal and getting squeezed into an orthopedist appointment and having a real fiberglass cast placed. So needless to say it’s hard to remember much more about the week than that glaring milestone.

But yet again kids really just remind us how resilient and how joyful they are. Johnathan isn’t wallowing in what he can’t do (like I know a lot of adults would). Instead he’s figuring out how to go about his days. He’s always been my little anchor when it comes to putting things into perspective.

This week I finished reading A Flicker in the Dark which I give 3.5 / 5 stars. The last 25% of the book was page turning for sure. I just found myself not really believing choices the main character would make at different parts. But overall it was an easy suspense read.

Last week I mentioned how I was starting and committing to another workout program and how it had been so long. Well, I went 4/5 days last week, which I am really freaking proud of. I was telling Chris how if I hadn’t committed there is no way I would have worked out that much or pushed myself that hard this week just given everything with Johnathan. So i’m very happy to be back doing what has worked for me for so long.

I took the one cool day of the week to make soup – I made our go to zuppa toscana. This is one of our favorites. I’ll share the recipe here. I usually skip the bacon and add mushrooms to it.

On Friday I hosted a play date for some of Will’s friends and it was so cute to have a house full of boys. I also made a fall / halloween themed snack board which they loved. And then Saturday I went to a “cook book club” where we all made variations of bruschetta. It was so fun!

I feel like this Sunday Something is a total brain dump and not very helpful with sharing links. But that was just the kind of week it has been.

Onward and upward lol.

Sunday Somethings (returned) No. 8

Ah, kids are back in school, the mornings are crisper, autumn is around the corner & I thought it was time to bring back my Sunday Somethings series. It’s a fun way to stay connected, share recipes, updates, or things I’m loving.

  1. This summer felt like the perfect length – we did a ton, we travelled to Mexico, we had beach days, the boys swam day in and day out, we watched movies, we celebrated birthdays. And now summer is coming to a close. I’m trying to be really intentional about not wishing seasons away and instead savoring it. As much as the cooler mornings feel nice, I’m trying to enjoy the days that still feel long with light, the evenings where we can comfortably play outside, the trees that are still holding on to their leaves. It’s so easy once school starts to skip ahead to fall and halloween and pumpkin spice. And don’t get me wrong I love all those things – but I really struggle with the short days, gloomy cold weather, so this year I’m really trying to just absorb the season we are in rather than wishing it away.
  2. The kids are finally on overlapping school schedules (HALLELUJAH!) Last year their schedule overlapped for 40 mins 3 days a week…. barely enough time to take a deep breath and start a load of laundry. This year – they are both in school by 8:30 and I get multiple hours of time four days a week! I can’t tell you how happy and excited I am about this.
  3. We took the kids to a monster truck show last weekend. They loved it. And it’s been all monster trucks all day long since. They’ve also gotten back into watching Blaze & Monster Machines on paramount / nickelodeon – and this is one show that I feel like they actually learn a lot from. They’ll be talking about force and friction and acceleration.
  4. I made a batch of dry mix of “cream of ___” soup mix. Basically you add a cup of broth or milk to this dry mix and it turns into a can of “cream of”. My mom used to make casseroles with cream of but the OG cans have so many perservatives and contain soy & gluten which are no’s for us so I was thrilled to find this recipe for this dry mix. I already used it. Scroll to the bottom and I’ll add the recipe for the dry mix (I had found it on instagram but now of course can’t find it to link it)
  5. Earlier this week I posted all my puppy essentials – Toby is officially in his adolescent era & so I rounded up all our favorite puppy items and shared them! You can read it here.
  6. It’s officially September! This month I decided to do a No Spend September I love a good challenge & I decided this would be a perfect month for it. I wanted to do it in August but I knew with back to school there would be things that popped up that I needed to get. So this month I’m really trying to hunker down & save!
  7. This week I finished Book Lovers which was such a cute easy read. It was book 22 this year. I had originally made a goal to read 50 books this year but I recently decided that goal was just not attainable. When I made it, it didn’t really sink in that it meant I would have to read a book a week, which is honestly just not possible in the season I’m in. So I pivoted and changed the goal to 40. We’ll see if I can make it. I read 36 books last year so I think it’s possible. We’re also entering fall / winter which are seasons that I tend to read more (aka football season). Take this as your sign if you made an over ambitious goal for the year, it’s okay to change it.
  8. I made this raspberry crisp this week & it was SO good. The recipe calls for fresh raspberries but I had two bags of frozen raspberries in my freezer & I’m trying to use things up. It turned out great even with frozen raspberries.
  9. This weekend I’m doing my longest work stretch in a while – and I’m dreading switching from going to bed at 3am to having to wake up at 5:30-6am to get the kids ready for school. I’m already planning for this week to be a strugggggle!
  10. The boys soccer season finally kicks off next weekend and I’m so excited. Baseball season brought so much joy. I loved watching them play so I’m excited to be back on the sidelines cheering every Saturday!

Hope everyone has a great long holiday weekend ❤

Dry mix soup of ingredients:

  • 2 cups powdered milk
  • 3/4 cup cornstarch
  • 1/4 cup bouillon powder
  • 2 tsp onion flakes
  • 1 tsp parsley
  • 1 tsp basil
  • 1 tsp black

To use:

Combine 1/3 cup dry mix, 1 cup broth or milk & 1 tbsp butter in saucepan and stir until thickened!

Sunday Somethings No.3

Sunday Somethings

  • Something I made this week that was 10/10 was this Short rib recipe. It turned out delicious and I will absolutely be making it again. It was a little labor intensive but the longest portion of the recipe the short ribs cook in the oven for about 3 hours, so although it takes quite a bit of time, you aren’t cooking for 4+ hours! If you love short ribs and are intimidated about making them – try this recipe!
  • Some things I finished reading this week were: Wintering and True Love Expirement. These were both pretty quick reads. It wasn’t until the end of True Love that I realized there was definitely a prequel to that book, oops! Now I started a thriller that I got from the library. I haven’t read a thriller in awhile. I feel like I have to space them out otherwise I start getting nightmares!
  • This week Johnathan got a nasty cold & his asthma flared up. This was the first real cold that took him down this season. Last winter we were perpetually sick and constantly setting up his nebulizer or visiting the ER. It was rough. So I’m beyond grateful for his health and for being able to get an urgent care appt. so he could get steroids asap to help him get over it. I also had such a proud mom moment while we were there. He was such a champ despite at first being scared and crying about not wanting to go to the dr. But then he was so chatty with the staff, let them do all their things and literally laughed with the nurse swabbed his nose for allll the germs.
  • Between J being sick and my back still not 100% we leaned into rest. It’s not easy for me to prioritize rest or to kick myself out of my productivity spirals but there are times when it’s necessary. I’m hoping to get back to working out this week (fingers crossed).
  • Something I’m excited about is both the boys are starting baseball, I went to one of the team meetings this week and it got me so excited for spring and to watch the boys both try something new!
  • I’ve really been cherishing watching Will build lego creations and getting on the floor and building with him. He always amazes with me with what he’s building and just how creative he is. And it’s just the best and it’s one of those, knowing you’re living in a future memory moments. I know one day I’ll look back at how much he loved legos and all the “masterpieces” he would proudly show off (that’s what he calls his builds). So I’m trying to being super present and just enjoy those moments.
  • Finally Chris and I have been working on trying to maximize how functional our house is. And this weekend we built this shoe storage cabinet thing for our entry way and I’m SO happy with it! I was originally planning to DIY something, but I didn’t have a very clear vision and every time I tried I was getting frustrated so we opted for something simpler and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out!

2023 wrapped + reflections!

Somehow the calendar has flipped again & we’re once again at a new year! I love a good reflection moment and the start of a new year is the perfect time to look back. This year we celebrated big birthdays for our boys, we spent a lot of time outside, I read more than I have in years past. We took trips to the snow and the beach. I leaned into creating. I built dining benches, mud kitchens and redid closets. I tapped back into my arty side and started playing with watercolors. Chris and I took our first solo international trip and visited Singapore this fall. Of course there were less desirable parts of the year. The boys started the year with virus after virus and there was relentless rain. I got a strange post viral arrhythmia that I’m still sorting out (waiting for a cardiac MRI bleh). I wrote about this last year, but it’s impossible to categorize years as “good” or “bad”. This year was made of thousands of beautiful moments. There were moments where I struggled, moments I felt burnt out at work, or in my motherhood. There’s a chasm of uncertainty when it comes to Chris’ start-up life. But all of those moments are just that, moments. They are fleeting, some are beautiful, like walking my son to kindergarten each morning and others are painful. This year I was better about allowing myself to experience these moments for what they were. And I think the more you’re able to do that in your daily life the less significance a “new year” has, instead I feel gratitude for all this year has given to me. One of my favorite new year traditions is making a list for the year, you can see previous lists here: 20 in 2020 , 21 in 2021, Monday Mindset: 2022 Wrapped. I talk about the origin of this tradition, but I like to fill it with goals, simple things, things to try etc. So it’s time to review what was on my 2023 list.

  1. Attempt gluten free puff pastry – I didn’t do this, but I did make GF sourdough so I’m counting this as an adventure in GF baking!
  2. Go to the beach – yes, and it was one of my favorite memories of the year!
  3. Read 23 books – and then SOME, 34 in total!
  4. Spend 1000 hours outside - we got damn close so i’m counting this as yes. We spent 977 hours outside this year. I am SO proud of this – it was an exceptionally wet first 3 months of year but we purchased rain suits and splashed and made it outside.
  5. Re-open my Etsy shop – nope. but I did sew burp cloths for several friends.
  6. Get a will / living trust set up – yikes. nope. 2024 will be our year for this.
  7. Plan a Stedman family trip – nope
  8. Get another dog – no but this is a rollover for 2024 and I am SET on this.
  9. Hike in the redwoods – yes
  10. J’s closet renovation – yes, one of the hardest DIY’s I’ve done. It took obscenely long since I couldn’t work on this at night or at naptime, but I finished it and learned so much and that closet is 100x more functional now.
  11. Start hot yoga again – I did return to bikram this year. But then was quickly sidelined with my cardiac issues and haven’t returned.
  12. Redo garden beds - yes shout out to my amazing husband who took over this project while I was on limited activity for my heart.
  13. Review spending every week – no.
  14. Go to the dermatologist – also no.
  15. Use my DSLR camera more – I did use it some but not as much as I would have liked. This is an example of a goal that is too vague what is “more”?
  16. Store my phone away during the day – I was fairly good at this and even took a month. of social media which felt amazing.
  17. Take the boys on monthly individual day dates – not nearly as much as I would have liked.
  18. Make a personal timeline – started this
  19. DIY avocado dye – yes, this was fun and the color is a beautiful muted pink.
  20. Do a 75 soft challenge – yes!
  21. Learn to use the cameo machine – nooope! Better luck this year?
  22. Finish my 2021 & 2022 photo albums – YES!
  23. Rescreen our sliding door – we switched to a magnetic screen door which is way more convenient for kids and pets. although idk what I was thinking getting a white one.

May Round Up

Hello! I’m back!! Right after William’s birthday in the end of April I decided I wanted to take a few days off of social media & it felt SO good that it actually evolved into me taking the entire month of May off. For the past three years I’ve shown up nearly day, so it felt incredible to unplug and allow myself the freedom of leaving my phone in a completely different room, and just being. So for my May round up I thought I’d share what we got into this past month, what helped me take a huge step back from social media, where I plan to go from here!

  • This month we crossed the 300 hour mark on our goal of 1000 hours outside for the year! We’re definitely behind pace but I’m having fun tracking and it’s a great motivation to get outside even when the weather has been less than ideal! The boys are itching for real summer heat to hit and want to play on the splash pad anytime it’s 70 degrees or higher!
  • We redid our garden beds and finally planted our spring garden! Chris did an amazing job building them, the kids loved playing and moving all the dirt & I’m thrilled to have a garden again! This year I’m doing a combination of growing foods we love to eat (tomatoes, cucumbers, snap peas) and a mix of flowers! I also love the new layout! The old set up from the previous owners was cramped and hard to move around & this area now feels so nice!
  • Halfway through the month the boys got the dreaded hand foot mouth virus. They bounced back quickly but I got it and it actually turned into a bit of a health scare for me. While I was on the mend with the sorest throat I’ve ever experienced I had to make a trip to the ER. Which as an ER nurse is literally my last resort… The virus irritated my heart sending me into a fast abnormal heart rhythm. I ended up getting a cardiologist, wearing a cardiac monitor for two weeks (i’m still wearing it as I write this post). We’re still in the process of doing some due diligence to make sure this is truly virus related and not something more nefarious but phew I didn’t see that coming for this month. Also, J came to the ER with me and every time anyone entered the room he would proudly announce “not for me today!” – tell me you’ve been in and out of ER’s constantly for asthma without telling me.
  • Will started going to jujitsu. The last time he was in a jujitsu gym he was barely 18 months old, the first photo! So this is so special for him! It’s cuteness overload watching him do all the little moves and rolls!
  • I read four very different books this month. The Psychology of Money, Maybe You Should Talk To Someone and To Raise a Boy, and Night Wherever We Go. The Psychology of Money was not at all what I was expecting. I thought it would be more practical advice instead it ended up being very theoretical and far less useful than I hoped. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone was great! It’s about a therapist who is going through her own ish and decides to talk to someone! An easy read with some great insights! To Raise a Boy – a must read for boy moms. How to raise boys to be thoughtful, caring, kind, how to break stereotypes, how and why to have hard conversations. The author dives deep into sexual assault, talking to your boys about pornography, and how to raise a boy in a crazy world like today! This was a tough read but SO impactful. Finally, Night Wherever We Go was a gripping book about slaves in Texas. It is written from many different points of view. This was one I grabbed from the library and knew nothing about, but I really enjoyed it!
  • I finally got around to hiking in Briones! I took my bestie & my junie girl and we did 4 miles. Juno was SO happy to be out on a trail and we caught the last of the wildflowers!
  • In May I hit 600 days of meditation. My meditation journey started as a 30 day challenge but it’s something I’ve kept up. I’ve missed days here and there, but creating space between my thoughts, quieting my mind, slowing down and turning inward as been so impactful. It’s funny because I had plans to write a blog post about 500 days of mediation and insights that I have gained since starting this personal practice. But as anyone who meditates regularly knows, the more I practice the more I become aware that my journey at times feels like it’s only just beginning. So 500 days came and went without me feeling some deep transformation or inspiration to write, but this month celebrating nearly 2 years of meditation feels really good! And I did have an amazing moment this month where Will asked me if he could start meditating with me. He will sometimes see me in the mornings or afternoons, sitting still, breathing deep and he understands I’m meditating. So we’ve started incorporating some kids meditation into his daily quiet time. It’s been so special to lay in bed with him and do a meditation together. He loves going on my app and picking a kids one.
  • Finally, the app I used to digital detox: ScreenZen! I seriously love this. You can set up what apps you want to limit, how many times you want to allow it to be opened per day. But what I love about it is when you go to open whatever app, it has you pause (you choose the number of seconds before the app opens) it asks you “is this important” and then has you wait… I’d say nine times out of ten I just click don’t open because it’s not important I’m not getting online to do anything, I’m just killing time or bored. If you’ve struggled to digital detox and maybe you’re not an all or nothing type of person and don’t want to just completely delete your apps this is a great option. This works much better for me than cutting it out completely, extreme restriction typically leads to the pendulum swinging the other direction and ends in these binging and restricting cycles.

May felt super long and mostly it felt so nice to just focus on the beautiful life right in front of me, instead of worrying about creating content. I do enjoy sharing on social & making connections. I have made some great internet friends so I don’t necessarily see myself completely deleting or removing myself from it entirely. I think this was a great break, and an opportunity to really be intentional about what I’m doing on my phone. One of my goals this year was to significantly cut down on my screen time and have better phone hygiene around my boys. The only way to teach them about technology and boundaries and realizing that life happens when you look up is to do that yourself. You can say it till you’re blue in the face, but if you’re constantly mhmming them that is what they will notice and remember more than any lecture. Also the older my guys get the less I feel compelled to share about them, as they enter into their own I want them to choose how and when they want their internet presence to be. Of course I’ll probably still share little things here and there like this blog for instance. I’ll be keeping screen zen on my phone for now. I love how it still makes me question why I’m really getting onto my phone and I think it’s great to break that habitual checking and refreshing.

I’m curious if you’ve done a digital detox and how it impacted your life!?

5 Tips to Read More

Like most people, I loved reading when I was younger. But fell out of the habit once nursing school, night shifts, and newborn life took over. Over the last two years I really stepped back into reading and made a serious effort to recreate a habit that I had loved so much. I decided to put down my phone and picked up books instead. In 2021 I pushed myself to read 10 books, which may not sound like a lot but it was more than I had read in many years. It felt so good to remember what it felt like to get lost in other worlds, having to stay up late to find out how a book ends! Those 10 books completely re-energized me to prioritize reading into a sustainable habit again. Last year I pushed myself to double my reading goal ended up finishing the year reading 21 books! Today I thought I’d share some tips for fitting more reading into your life, even if you’re like me and live a busy toddler mom life.

  1. Stop reading books you don’t enjoy – if you don’t like a book. put.it.down. don’t force yourself to read books you don’t enjoy! life is too short. I used to force myself to keep reading out of principle, but the reality is you’ll actually read slower and less books if you’re forcing yourself to trudge through stuff you don’t like.
  2. Utilize apps to get free e books. I use a kindle and before I would go back and forth on if i wanted to spend the money on a kindle book, especially as I was getting back into reading and honestly didn’t know what books I enjoyed anymore… Then I found the libby app. Which basically lets you rent ebooks from library. The app is completely free all you need is a library card number, which you can easily get online! This set me free from the mental gymnastics I was doing about actually spending money on e books and allowed me to download books without the pressure of having to feel like it was “worth the money”. This is how I read 99% of my books is through the libby app! You’re able to rent a book for 21 days but pro tip if it’s taking you longer DON’T close out of the book on your kindle. If you leave it up you can keep reading beyond 21 days.
  3. Know you’ll be interrupted – Life with two littles means interruptions, but I still read around them. While they’re playing outside or in their rooms, or when they’re watching a show. I’ll be reading. But I know I’ll get interrupted. When we’re outside I’ll play with them and then tell them “mommys gonna read her book know while you guys play”, and of course there are still interruptions but the more I do it the more they become used to it. My almost 5 year old asked me the other day all about my book, we talked about how words make sentences and how books tell stories and it was such a great conversation for my guy who is on the cusp of reading himself. The key for reading around your kids is don’t wait for *perfect* conditions. Doing this has helped me read so.much.more! Plus the example this sets is so powerful.
  4. Keep a running to-read list: I use the notes app on my phone and have a note dedicated to books I want to read. Whenever I’m at work and someone suggest a book or I’m on IG and someone talks about a book they love I add it to my list. So when I finish one I always have something else on my list to read. I also keep books on hold on the libby app!
  5. Take a book to bed: A few years ago I started charging my phone across the room from my bed. Mostly so I would ensure I would actually get up when my alarm was going off. But instead of taking my phone to bed scrolling until I was falling asleep I now go to bed with my kindle. Some nights I only manage to read a few pages before my eyes close. Other nights I will literally read for HOURS. This has drastically changed how much I read. And is such a better way to fall asleep. We spend a lot of time looking at our phones, being pulled by dings and pings. But reading really forces you to focus which will ultimately lead to better sleep!

What I’m reading currently: Lessons in Chemistry

Monday Mindset: Our power struggle with time.

Consider this:

We don’t get or have time at all – instead we are time. We’ll never get the upper hand in our relationships with the moments of our lives because we are nothing but those moments.

Last Sunday I was sleeping in a dark hotel room with my husband when I heard his alarm going off for the second time. Only to quickly realize it wasn’t his alarm, it was a phone call. A phone call saying our two year old sons asthma was bad and we needed to come home. Luckily our “getaway” was only ten minutes away. If you’re a parent you know you don’t need to be 500 miles away to feel recharged, all you need is a hotel bed, black out curtains and a night or two without a toddler, iykyk. After getting home, giving Johnathan his nebulizer treatments we realized he wasn’t improving all that much. And so, in all too familiar fashion, we filled a bag with necessities and headed for the hospital. Our little bubba ended up needing to stay in the hospital for 36 hours, getting some extra oxygen his body needed.

In the past five years I’ve sat and laid next to each of my children and husband in hospital beds and each time I’m hit with this paradoxical feeling of having time slow to a crawl within the walls of your hospital room while the world outside goes about their lives. Often in our daily lives we are consumed with ideas of not “wasting time” or the pressure of “living in the moment”. We innately begin to view time as a resource that we can manipulate or control, but there’s no greater reality check on your lack of control than a hospital. In a hospital you’re forced to surrender any illusion of control over time or finitude you think you have. As much as we want to wield control over our time the universe will continue to show us that no one can master time, that you can’t outrun the flipped hourglass that is each of our lives.

In 4000 weeks, Time Management for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman describes “a more fruitful approach to the challenge of living more fully in the moment starts from noticing that you are, in fact, always already living in the moment anyway, whether you like it or not. To try to live in the moment implies that you’re somehow separate from “the moment” and thus in a position to either succeed or fail at living in it.” So stop beating yourself up for “not living in the moment” enough. You have no choice you are living in the moment, it’s how you to choose to give your attention and experience those moments that matter.

While we were in the hospital last week I kept thinking about this quote. Usually living in the moment is associated with saying yes to the spontaneous invitation, watching the sunrise, dancing without inhibition, fun, light things. Yet there I was, with the Cars 2 movie playing for the third time in 30 hours, laying next to my son, trying to memorize his little curls and the way he rolls his blanket between his hands while simultaneously sucking his thumb, and I could not have “lived in the moment” more. It was a moment I would never have chosen for myself, but it was my reality. Ask any mom about the paradox that is time. The days can drag on, the phases that feel never ending, and yet suddenly you have a walking, talking toddler and you don’t understand how so much time has already passed. This feeling of chasing time, of wanting to savor every minute of it, of older generations reminding us how quickly it all really flies by can add pressure to make sure we’re doing THE most. When what would benefit us the most is to stop splitting our attention, stop trying to see how much we can cram into our day but instead shifting our focus to our focus. What makes our lives meaningful are our experiences. But in order to truly experience something we have to give our attention to it. Burkeman notes “to have any meaningful experience you must be able to focus on it, at least a bit. Otherwise, are you really having it at all? Can you have an experience you don’t experience?”

Things like meditation and breathwork train our brains to pause. To allow room for focus in a world that is filled with pings and dings, devices that are constantly pulling our focus in a hundred different directions.

I snapped this photo this week, we were reading books on the couch before bed, Chris was reading Dragons Love Tacos, and Johnathan held my hand. And I couldn’t stop looking at that little hand inside mine. I gave that little hand all my attention and focus, feeling the warmth from it, how his little fingers gripped onto my palm, the tiny veins that run along the top of his hand, the calmness of the moment. It was hard to believe a few days prior we were in the hospital and now we’re back at home, in this moment.

I hope this post encourages you to slow down, to draw more attention to the moments you’re already living it. Whether they’re the same bedtime routine you’ve grown tired of, or a new destination, or lifes cruel realities. I hope you can find moments to take in and fully experience for all that they are.