Tag: motherhood

Sunday Somethings No. 4

  • Our biggest Something has to be adding a new puppy to our family!! Chris and I have been looking forward to for so long but between babies, our older developing a serious anemia that took nearly 2 years to recover from, Chris starting a company adding another dog just felt like too much at the time. Last week we picked up Toby & we are so in love. He’s already brought so much joy! And it’s seriously the best watching Juno & Toby play.
  • Something I read this past week was Mad Honey I gave it a 3.5 / 5 star review. I thought the suspense kind of fizzled out and it dragged a little in the middle. I think it could have easily been about 100 pages shorter.
  • I hurt my back at the beginning of the year and haven’t been able to fully workout like I normally do, so something I’ve been enjoying lately is Pilates. I’ve found doing these you tube pilates have been a great way to work on strengthening my core which ultimately will help my back situation! Even the 20 minute workouts are tough!!
  • Something delicious I made that I plan on remaking again this week are these gluten free samoa bars. I made them years ago and had kind of forgotten about them. But they are so delicious and comparatively healthy.

Somethings I’ll remember from this week:

  • The massive storm hitting us and causing us to lose power for nearly 24 hours. I cooked & we ate dinner by candlelight, adjusted to a brand new puppy and the boys thought it was so fun…
  • Chris got the boys a practice tee for at home & we had our first backyard baseball game as a family and it was one of the best parts of the weekend. I think it could be really easy to sit back and say I’m just gonna let Chris have baseball because I never played, I don’t have any experience etc. But leaning in to what interests the boys I think is so powerful. We ended up playing for over an hour and like I said it was a total highlight. So if you’re a boy mom seeking connection with your kids lean into the things that you might enjoy as well. For me, building legos, and playing sports are two ways I can lean into their interests and I’ll also enjoy myself.

Sunday Somethings No.3

Sunday Somethings

  • Something I made this week that was 10/10 was this Short rib recipe. It turned out delicious and I will absolutely be making it again. It was a little labor intensive but the longest portion of the recipe the short ribs cook in the oven for about 3 hours, so although it takes quite a bit of time, you aren’t cooking for 4+ hours! If you love short ribs and are intimidated about making them – try this recipe!
  • Some things I finished reading this week were: Wintering and True Love Expirement. These were both pretty quick reads. It wasn’t until the end of True Love that I realized there was definitely a prequel to that book, oops! Now I started a thriller that I got from the library. I haven’t read a thriller in awhile. I feel like I have to space them out otherwise I start getting nightmares!
  • This week Johnathan got a nasty cold & his asthma flared up. This was the first real cold that took him down this season. Last winter we were perpetually sick and constantly setting up his nebulizer or visiting the ER. It was rough. So I’m beyond grateful for his health and for being able to get an urgent care appt. so he could get steroids asap to help him get over it. I also had such a proud mom moment while we were there. He was such a champ despite at first being scared and crying about not wanting to go to the dr. But then he was so chatty with the staff, let them do all their things and literally laughed with the nurse swabbed his nose for allll the germs.
  • Between J being sick and my back still not 100% we leaned into rest. It’s not easy for me to prioritize rest or to kick myself out of my productivity spirals but there are times when it’s necessary. I’m hoping to get back to working out this week (fingers crossed).
  • Something I’m excited about is both the boys are starting baseball, I went to one of the team meetings this week and it got me so excited for spring and to watch the boys both try something new!
  • I’ve really been cherishing watching Will build lego creations and getting on the floor and building with him. He always amazes with me with what he’s building and just how creative he is. And it’s just the best and it’s one of those, knowing you’re living in a future memory moments. I know one day I’ll look back at how much he loved legos and all the “masterpieces” he would proudly show off (that’s what he calls his builds). So I’m trying to being super present and just enjoy those moments.
  • Finally Chris and I have been working on trying to maximize how functional our house is. And this weekend we built this shoe storage cabinet thing for our entry way and I’m SO happy with it! I was originally planning to DIY something, but I didn’t have a very clear vision and every time I tried I was getting frustrated so we opted for something simpler and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out!

Sunday Somethings no. 2

Sunday Somethings

  • I made this Parmesan and Italian Sausage soup this week & it was SO good. I ended up using half sausage half ground turkey to curb some of the fat content but it was delicious and I’m definitely making it again this week!
  • I’m almost done reading Wintering which has been on my list to read for so long. January just feels like the best time to read it. This is one of my favorite quotes, May writes “Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through... that’s where the transformation occurs. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible” I love how the book is all about celebrating and leaning into times of rest and how when we allow ourselves to recognizes hard, dark, withdrawn times that’s when growth and transformation and wisdom occurs.
  • I’ve also been working on my January declutter challenge of filling boxes – I have 4 to drop off at the Goodwill this week, which feels so good. I love the feeling of clearing space and letting things go!
  • Something I’m grateful for this week is generous friends that totally saved us on our annual snow trip. After we had not one, but two Airbnb FAILS!! I booked a place back in December that had good reviews. When we got there we quickly realized the heater was not working at all and it was a chilly 42 degrees in the house. Then I went to check the hot tub only to look and see it was empty except for broken glass. I bundled the kids up and let them play in the backyard in the snow while we game planned. We realize that after I had booked this house someone had left a review with the exact same complaints from 2 weeks ago! So nothing ever got fixed. We ended up booking another house that said we could check in at 6pm. So we pile the kids in the car, reload our car and then aren’t able to get into our new airbnb because the owners live in France and it was 2 or 3 am their time. It was a nightmare!! Thankfully we had some friends who let us use their cabin that was only another 15 minutes away and it was a LIFESAVER!
  • I’m also grateful for Chris and my ability to not let a frustrating situation ruin our trip and still be able to work together as a team to figure it all out! We always tell the boys not to panic almost everything is “figure-out-able”
  • Something I loved this weekend was where we took the boys sledding. We went to Granlibakken and watching the boys fly down that hill and not be scared was so much fun!! And I was so impressed with their ability to keep trekking back up the big hill. If you’re local and looking for a place to take your kids sledding I 10/10 recommend. They sell 90 min tickets and that is MORE than enough.

Hope everyone had a great week!

Sunday Somethings. No. 1

This is a new series I’m starting where each Sunday I’ll be posting some things. Things I’ve been enjoying, things I’m reading or watching, things I’m cooking, things I’m contemplating, things I’ve thrifted, things I’m trying to accomplish etc… It’ll be a fun way to catch up & share a little bit of what’s happening on a more consistent basis. So to kick it off here are some things from this week.

Some things.

  • Something I’ve been cooking on repeat is high protein salsa verde enchiladas! It’s so simple and it’s the easiest way to sneak extra protein in! I just take a jar of salsa verde, blend it with about a cup to a cup and a half of cottage cheese (I like the brand Good culture), and then a little chicken stock or veggie stock to get it to the consistency / thickness you like. It’s seriously SO good. It cuts down on the spice level and makes it so creamy but with extra protein!
  • Something I’m excited about coming up is our annual snow trip! We booked a cabin and the boys don’t know yet, but Will is gonna lose his mind. He freaking loves the snow!
  • Some things I’ve read this year so far: I finished the book Self Compassion – The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff- which was a therapist recommendation – it was super impactful especially for anyone who is like myself and has a harsh inner critic. It had some great exercises to try in the book, which I loved. I also read Happy Place by Emily Henry which was a super quick read! I love alternating between fiction and non fiction books.
  • I’ve been doing my January declutter challenge – which is: for every box that gets delivered and comes IN to the house I fill it with things to go OUT of the house. I love this challenge because it really makes me think twice before I just click order now. I’m trying to be really intentional about my purchases and I’m also trying to continue to simplify and de-clutter my life. Did you know that the average american home contains 300K items (yikes)! and over 40% of Americans rent storage units!? I’m trying to realize minimize and simplify. So this is a really productive challenge!
  • I’m starting to plan my very first DIY for the year – I’m redoing our very small entry way to make it more functional. I’m hoping to add some built in storage. I feel like the pile of after school stuff that just gets dropped as soon as we get home has finally gotten to me and I want to have a better solution because the boys are starting baseball this spring and I feel like that problem is about to get so much worse!
  • Something I’m grateful for this week is my body. I threw my back out on Thursday and was so miserable and basically not able to do anything. I actually thought my back pain was a kidney stone because of how much pain I was in. Thankfully I got it checked out and it’s *just muscular, but ouch!! Whenever I’m hurt or sick it’s such a reminder to be grateful for our health and grateful to be able to run alongside my boys, to lift things, to just do all the daily tasks!

Hope everyone had a great week!

xo

24 in 2024

2024 has some big goals, big destinations, big DIYs! I want to create a better post work routine. I feel like I have a nice morning routine on days when I’m not working. But after a long shift at the hospital I always feel like I’m floundering a little when it comes to morning time. So I really want to cultivate a better morning routine for those days when I’ve gotten way less sleep. Also being easier on myself is a goal for 2024. I deserve the compassion I extend to others. We are so often our own worst critics, and have trouble holding space for ourselves and our own struggles. So really focusing on when I’m struggling and instead of telling myself to “suck it up buttercup” I want to be more gentle with myself. Watercoloring was such an unexpected hobby I picked up this winter so I want to keep it up, it’s so peaceful and I love including my kids.

I would love to hear what some of your goals are for this new year. I love doing these lists and I do so knowing I likely won’t cross everything off but it’s a fun exercise to think about what sorts of things you might want to try this year!

check out previous lists here: 20 in 2020 21 in 2021 Monday Mindset: 2022 Wrapped 23 in 2023

2023 wrapped + reflections!

Somehow the calendar has flipped again & we’re once again at a new year! I love a good reflection moment and the start of a new year is the perfect time to look back. This year we celebrated big birthdays for our boys, we spent a lot of time outside, I read more than I have in years past. We took trips to the snow and the beach. I leaned into creating. I built dining benches, mud kitchens and redid closets. I tapped back into my arty side and started playing with watercolors. Chris and I took our first solo international trip and visited Singapore this fall. Of course there were less desirable parts of the year. The boys started the year with virus after virus and there was relentless rain. I got a strange post viral arrhythmia that I’m still sorting out (waiting for a cardiac MRI bleh). I wrote about this last year, but it’s impossible to categorize years as “good” or “bad”. This year was made of thousands of beautiful moments. There were moments where I struggled, moments I felt burnt out at work, or in my motherhood. There’s a chasm of uncertainty when it comes to Chris’ start-up life. But all of those moments are just that, moments. They are fleeting, some are beautiful, like walking my son to kindergarten each morning and others are painful. This year I was better about allowing myself to experience these moments for what they were. And I think the more you’re able to do that in your daily life the less significance a “new year” has, instead I feel gratitude for all this year has given to me. One of my favorite new year traditions is making a list for the year, you can see previous lists here: 20 in 2020 , 21 in 2021, Monday Mindset: 2022 Wrapped. I talk about the origin of this tradition, but I like to fill it with goals, simple things, things to try etc. So it’s time to review what was on my 2023 list.

  1. Attempt gluten free puff pastry – I didn’t do this, but I did make GF sourdough so I’m counting this as an adventure in GF baking!
  2. Go to the beach – yes, and it was one of my favorite memories of the year!
  3. Read 23 books – and then SOME, 34 in total!
  4. Spend 1000 hours outside - we got damn close so i’m counting this as yes. We spent 977 hours outside this year. I am SO proud of this – it was an exceptionally wet first 3 months of year but we purchased rain suits and splashed and made it outside.
  5. Re-open my Etsy shop – nope. but I did sew burp cloths for several friends.
  6. Get a will / living trust set up – yikes. nope. 2024 will be our year for this.
  7. Plan a Stedman family trip – nope
  8. Get another dog – no but this is a rollover for 2024 and I am SET on this.
  9. Hike in the redwoods – yes
  10. J’s closet renovation – yes, one of the hardest DIY’s I’ve done. It took obscenely long since I couldn’t work on this at night or at naptime, but I finished it and learned so much and that closet is 100x more functional now.
  11. Start hot yoga again – I did return to bikram this year. But then was quickly sidelined with my cardiac issues and haven’t returned.
  12. Redo garden beds - yes shout out to my amazing husband who took over this project while I was on limited activity for my heart.
  13. Review spending every week – no.
  14. Go to the dermatologist – also no.
  15. Use my DSLR camera more – I did use it some but not as much as I would have liked. This is an example of a goal that is too vague what is “more”?
  16. Store my phone away during the day – I was fairly good at this and even took a month. of social media which felt amazing.
  17. Take the boys on monthly individual day dates – not nearly as much as I would have liked.
  18. Make a personal timeline – started this
  19. DIY avocado dye – yes, this was fun and the color is a beautiful muted pink.
  20. Do a 75 soft challenge – yes!
  21. Learn to use the cameo machine – nooope! Better luck this year?
  22. Finish my 2021 & 2022 photo albums – YES!
  23. Rescreen our sliding door – we switched to a magnetic screen door which is way more convenient for kids and pets. although idk what I was thinking getting a white one.

September Recipe Roundup

This summer I tried a ton of new recipes & last month I really focused on meal planning & fueling my body whole foods. For me that means less things out of boxes and instead focusing on adding color and ingredients I can pronounce! I’m sharing the recipes that I loved for anyone who finds themselves in a recipe rut and needs some inspiration this month.

Thai Chicken Lettuce Cups – These are a favorite for lunchtime! Since we avoid soy I paired this with my “psuedo soy” sauce (see the recipe further down!)

Tater Tot Casserole – Now this one doesn’t land at the top of “healthiest” dinners but this is any easy one to prep ahead of time and just pop in the oven!

Zuppa Toscana – It’s officially soup szn! This wasn’t a new recipe I discovered last month but it’s a tried and true recipe that I’ve made every fall for the past few years! I love to add parsley to this recipe and skip the bacon!

Cobb Salad with Carrot Kimchi Dressing – I have been making this salad in jars and they’re the perfect prepped lunch! I love adding shredded chicken to this recipe as well!

Sweet n Sour Pork Skewers with Pineapple – The whole family loved this one. I’ll definitely be making this one again while it’s still grilling season!

Psuedo “Soy” Sauce

Maple Pecan Granola (GF)

“Banana Bread” Chia Pudding

May Round Up

Hello! I’m back!! Right after William’s birthday in the end of April I decided I wanted to take a few days off of social media & it felt SO good that it actually evolved into me taking the entire month of May off. For the past three years I’ve shown up nearly day, so it felt incredible to unplug and allow myself the freedom of leaving my phone in a completely different room, and just being. So for my May round up I thought I’d share what we got into this past month, what helped me take a huge step back from social media, where I plan to go from here!

  • This month we crossed the 300 hour mark on our goal of 1000 hours outside for the year! We’re definitely behind pace but I’m having fun tracking and it’s a great motivation to get outside even when the weather has been less than ideal! The boys are itching for real summer heat to hit and want to play on the splash pad anytime it’s 70 degrees or higher!
  • We redid our garden beds and finally planted our spring garden! Chris did an amazing job building them, the kids loved playing and moving all the dirt & I’m thrilled to have a garden again! This year I’m doing a combination of growing foods we love to eat (tomatoes, cucumbers, snap peas) and a mix of flowers! I also love the new layout! The old set up from the previous owners was cramped and hard to move around & this area now feels so nice!
  • Halfway through the month the boys got the dreaded hand foot mouth virus. They bounced back quickly but I got it and it actually turned into a bit of a health scare for me. While I was on the mend with the sorest throat I’ve ever experienced I had to make a trip to the ER. Which as an ER nurse is literally my last resort… The virus irritated my heart sending me into a fast abnormal heart rhythm. I ended up getting a cardiologist, wearing a cardiac monitor for two weeks (i’m still wearing it as I write this post). We’re still in the process of doing some due diligence to make sure this is truly virus related and not something more nefarious but phew I didn’t see that coming for this month. Also, J came to the ER with me and every time anyone entered the room he would proudly announce “not for me today!” – tell me you’ve been in and out of ER’s constantly for asthma without telling me.
  • Will started going to jujitsu. The last time he was in a jujitsu gym he was barely 18 months old, the first photo! So this is so special for him! It’s cuteness overload watching him do all the little moves and rolls!
  • I read four very different books this month. The Psychology of Money, Maybe You Should Talk To Someone and To Raise a Boy, and Night Wherever We Go. The Psychology of Money was not at all what I was expecting. I thought it would be more practical advice instead it ended up being very theoretical and far less useful than I hoped. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone was great! It’s about a therapist who is going through her own ish and decides to talk to someone! An easy read with some great insights! To Raise a Boy – a must read for boy moms. How to raise boys to be thoughtful, caring, kind, how to break stereotypes, how and why to have hard conversations. The author dives deep into sexual assault, talking to your boys about pornography, and how to raise a boy in a crazy world like today! This was a tough read but SO impactful. Finally, Night Wherever We Go was a gripping book about slaves in Texas. It is written from many different points of view. This was one I grabbed from the library and knew nothing about, but I really enjoyed it!
  • I finally got around to hiking in Briones! I took my bestie & my junie girl and we did 4 miles. Juno was SO happy to be out on a trail and we caught the last of the wildflowers!
  • In May I hit 600 days of meditation. My meditation journey started as a 30 day challenge but it’s something I’ve kept up. I’ve missed days here and there, but creating space between my thoughts, quieting my mind, slowing down and turning inward as been so impactful. It’s funny because I had plans to write a blog post about 500 days of mediation and insights that I have gained since starting this personal practice. But as anyone who meditates regularly knows, the more I practice the more I become aware that my journey at times feels like it’s only just beginning. So 500 days came and went without me feeling some deep transformation or inspiration to write, but this month celebrating nearly 2 years of meditation feels really good! And I did have an amazing moment this month where Will asked me if he could start meditating with me. He will sometimes see me in the mornings or afternoons, sitting still, breathing deep and he understands I’m meditating. So we’ve started incorporating some kids meditation into his daily quiet time. It’s been so special to lay in bed with him and do a meditation together. He loves going on my app and picking a kids one.
  • Finally, the app I used to digital detox: ScreenZen! I seriously love this. You can set up what apps you want to limit, how many times you want to allow it to be opened per day. But what I love about it is when you go to open whatever app, it has you pause (you choose the number of seconds before the app opens) it asks you “is this important” and then has you wait… I’d say nine times out of ten I just click don’t open because it’s not important I’m not getting online to do anything, I’m just killing time or bored. If you’ve struggled to digital detox and maybe you’re not an all or nothing type of person and don’t want to just completely delete your apps this is a great option. This works much better for me than cutting it out completely, extreme restriction typically leads to the pendulum swinging the other direction and ends in these binging and restricting cycles.

May felt super long and mostly it felt so nice to just focus on the beautiful life right in front of me, instead of worrying about creating content. I do enjoy sharing on social & making connections. I have made some great internet friends so I don’t necessarily see myself completely deleting or removing myself from it entirely. I think this was a great break, and an opportunity to really be intentional about what I’m doing on my phone. One of my goals this year was to significantly cut down on my screen time and have better phone hygiene around my boys. The only way to teach them about technology and boundaries and realizing that life happens when you look up is to do that yourself. You can say it till you’re blue in the face, but if you’re constantly mhmming them that is what they will notice and remember more than any lecture. Also the older my guys get the less I feel compelled to share about them, as they enter into their own I want them to choose how and when they want their internet presence to be. Of course I’ll probably still share little things here and there like this blog for instance. I’ll be keeping screen zen on my phone for now. I love how it still makes me question why I’m really getting onto my phone and I think it’s great to break that habitual checking and refreshing.

I’m curious if you’ve done a digital detox and how it impacted your life!?

5 Tips to Read More

Like most people, I loved reading when I was younger. But fell out of the habit once nursing school, night shifts, and newborn life took over. Over the last two years I really stepped back into reading and made a serious effort to recreate a habit that I had loved so much. I decided to put down my phone and picked up books instead. In 2021 I pushed myself to read 10 books, which may not sound like a lot but it was more than I had read in many years. It felt so good to remember what it felt like to get lost in other worlds, having to stay up late to find out how a book ends! Those 10 books completely re-energized me to prioritize reading into a sustainable habit again. Last year I pushed myself to double my reading goal ended up finishing the year reading 21 books! Today I thought I’d share some tips for fitting more reading into your life, even if you’re like me and live a busy toddler mom life.

  1. Stop reading books you don’t enjoy – if you don’t like a book. put.it.down. don’t force yourself to read books you don’t enjoy! life is too short. I used to force myself to keep reading out of principle, but the reality is you’ll actually read slower and less books if you’re forcing yourself to trudge through stuff you don’t like.
  2. Utilize apps to get free e books. I use a kindle and before I would go back and forth on if i wanted to spend the money on a kindle book, especially as I was getting back into reading and honestly didn’t know what books I enjoyed anymore… Then I found the libby app. Which basically lets you rent ebooks from library. The app is completely free all you need is a library card number, which you can easily get online! This set me free from the mental gymnastics I was doing about actually spending money on e books and allowed me to download books without the pressure of having to feel like it was “worth the money”. This is how I read 99% of my books is through the libby app! You’re able to rent a book for 21 days but pro tip if it’s taking you longer DON’T close out of the book on your kindle. If you leave it up you can keep reading beyond 21 days.
  3. Know you’ll be interrupted – Life with two littles means interruptions, but I still read around them. While they’re playing outside or in their rooms, or when they’re watching a show. I’ll be reading. But I know I’ll get interrupted. When we’re outside I’ll play with them and then tell them “mommys gonna read her book know while you guys play”, and of course there are still interruptions but the more I do it the more they become used to it. My almost 5 year old asked me the other day all about my book, we talked about how words make sentences and how books tell stories and it was such a great conversation for my guy who is on the cusp of reading himself. The key for reading around your kids is don’t wait for *perfect* conditions. Doing this has helped me read so.much.more! Plus the example this sets is so powerful.
  4. Keep a running to-read list: I use the notes app on my phone and have a note dedicated to books I want to read. Whenever I’m at work and someone suggest a book or I’m on IG and someone talks about a book they love I add it to my list. So when I finish one I always have something else on my list to read. I also keep books on hold on the libby app!
  5. Take a book to bed: A few years ago I started charging my phone across the room from my bed. Mostly so I would ensure I would actually get up when my alarm was going off. But instead of taking my phone to bed scrolling until I was falling asleep I now go to bed with my kindle. Some nights I only manage to read a few pages before my eyes close. Other nights I will literally read for HOURS. This has drastically changed how much I read. And is such a better way to fall asleep. We spend a lot of time looking at our phones, being pulled by dings and pings. But reading really forces you to focus which will ultimately lead to better sleep!

What I’m reading currently: Lessons in Chemistry

Sending your kids to school in the school shooting era…

So much of parenthood is wondering if you’re doing the right thing… Am I reading to them enough, are they eating enough vegetables, am I giving them plenty of experiences, how much red40 dye have they consumed. But after every school shooting I’m consumed with… am I doing the right thing by sending them to school? After each one a part of me feels more and more unsure.

It feels ignorant to think “it won’t happen here” because I have absolutely NO way of knowing that. The Columbine shooting was 24 years ago. Since then there have been 376 school shooting. 46 happened last year. And since Columbine 338,000 children have experienced gun violence at school. It feels like there is no end in sight. We have allowed an entire generation of children to be traumatized by gun violence. (statistics from https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/interactive/school-shootings-database/ )

When you know better you do better. Except for the nearly a quarter century we have let kids go to school and not come home. Instead of taking action we’ve argued about door strength, arming teachers, allowing a place of learning and fun and friendship to also be a place where our children have to think about where they would hide if someone decided to come shoot at them today during circle time. I know every child loses their innocence, but forcing our children into active shooter drills before they know how to tie their shoes isn’t how I imagined it going.

In the late 80’s we decided it was unsafe to smoke while pregnant. It was hurting kids.

I wonder what my children and kids going to school now will think when they are adults. Will they ask us why we allowed this to go on for so long? What will be the result of growing up doing active shooter drills or expecting them to learn in an environment where they’re wondering about their safety. Having to have discussions about mortality and unimaginable evil, with kids who have barely begun to read. I can’t help but feel like I’m failing my kids, sending my kids to school when I can’t know that they’ll be safe. I wouldn’t let someone I felt iffy about watch my kid. But each day I send my kid to school wondering the uniquely American thought of, will today be the day someone brings a military style weapon and decides to blow kids to bits? We know better, we can do better, and most importantly our children deserve better. It’s like the doctor told us to stop smoking while pregnant because it is hurting our kid, and as a country we are just staring the doctor in the face, chain smoking.

After Uvalde, where 21 students were killed, I really struggled – struggled with being on the cusp of having a school aged child. Of getting ready to send him off to kindergarten and really questioning what was best. And here we are again, not even a year later. And I can’t help be flooded with all those questions again. I don’t really have answers or a true conclusion to this post. I know a lot of moms and parents feel the same sense of helplessness, of feeling stuck, of wanting to give your kids the best, of wondering if what we’re doing is right.

I want to encourage you if you feel paralyzed by this to a) stop scrolling and b) doing something tangible. I decided this evening after far too much scrolling to step back from social media, I donated to moms demand action and I went to 5 calls to find my representatives phone numbers and use their pre written scripts to DEMAND action against gun violence, to close loop holes, to put a ban on high capacity magazines and assault style rifles. When the day comes and my boys ask me about school shootings, I don’t want to say well I shared a LOT of memes, I might as well say I gave thoughts and prayers. I want them to know I cared enough to do everything in my power to make change happen.