Tag: lifestyle

NICU part 2. A Dad’s Thank You.

A guest post from my incredibly well spoken husband.

On Friday April 27th at 6:34AM William Hayes Dorsey came barreling into the world after 36 long hours of labor that stressed him far more than any of us knew at the time.

This experience, more than any other in my life, has so pointedly laid bare the misconception that we’re capable of going it alone. Natasha and I had to lean on so many people – friends, family, and strangers to get through the last few weeks. We had a plan, we had an idealistic picture in our heads of how we wanted birth and the first few weeks of our child’s life to go. That all went out the window when we got the results of our non-stress test, which showed William had 20% less amniotic fluid around him than the minimum required level. As the nurses later put it, the placenta was past due on it’s 40 week warranty.

“Good news. I have your induction date… it’s today.” – Dr. Kim aka Superwoman

The labor we wanted – starting on it’s own, progressing naturally… well, that might be for baby #2. Our only goal was to get William out healthy as soon as possible. He arrived 5 days past due after a difficult labor with the cord around his neck. Who knows if any/all of that contributed to his shockingly low blood sugar and a week-long stay in the NICU, but that’s how things go. You think you’re in control and you’re really just along for the ride.

To be sure, we were so much more fortunate than other families in the NICU with babies much more sick than Will. I think about those families every day and hope with everything I have that they get to go home soon with happy, healthy babies. Until then, I hope they keep fighting. Through the ups and downs, I hope they know that there are people out there – strangers, passersby – thinking of them and wishing them strength and love through this terrible ordeal.

What follows is a set of thank you’s that are inherently inadequate in return for the amount of love, kindness, and support we’ve been shown by friends, family, professionals, and strangers throughout this process.

To Doctor Kim:

You made us so comfortable from the first time we met you. You exude confidence in every interaction and give your patients the confidence that you have everything under control, have thought through all the potential scenarios, and are supporting their goals as far as the medicine will allow. We could not be more grateful that you were our OB and that you were there for the full labor and delivery experience. It was not an easy one, with decelerations and multiple layers of treatment, but when everyone else got worked up, you were the calming force in the room, you were there to guide the way. You made us laugh, you made us feel safe. You were honest with us, you were supportive. At so many different points, it felt like things were getting away from us and there you were to get things back on track. What could have been a very bad experience was a great one – all because of you. Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

To the well baby nurse who unwrapped Will and offered to change his diaper:

Thank you so much for being thorough and watchful in the execution of your job. You noticed his jittery little legs and ran a quick test that caught his incredibly low blood sugar. Without you, Will may never have received the care he needed.

“We know we’re no one’s first choice…” – Badass NICU nurse #792

To the NICU nurses:

What an exceptional group of human beings you are. You see people – parents and children – at their most fragile point in life. No one wants to be in the NICU, but I’ll be damned if there is a better group of people than NICU nurses. You all are brave, smart, compassionate, funny, and so much more. You carry families on your back through their darkest days. You care for the most innocent and fragile of lives like they are your own children. You care for new parents – parents who never thought of anything except a happy, healthy baby. You celebrate progress, you support set backs. You are optimistic, you are realistic. To say we couldn’t have done it without you is obvious, but it must be said. You might not be anyone’s first choice, but we wouldn’t want anyone else to help us through those late night feedings, the low readings, the critical labs, the slow progress, and eventually, finally, leaving. I’m sure there are terribly hard days, days I can’t stand to imagine, but you are the best of what we can be as humans. You show up shift after shift stronger than anyone knows. Thank you so much for everything you do.

To Molly:

Nothing we write here, say, or do, will ever repay what you have given our family or fully express the gratitude we feel for your love, compassion, and friendship to Natasha, myself, and William. I can’t start to catalog everything you’ve done for us, so hopefully it will suffice to say – thank you for the crackers 😉 We love you and look forward to every chance we get to see you.

To our parents:

Both sets of parents came to our rescue over and over again. To my parents – thank you for waiting tirelessly in waiting rooms during labor, delivery, and the NICU stay, for running out to get food repeatedly, for propping me up so I could be there for Natasha, and for coming back to lend a helping hand. To Nastasha’s parents – thank you so much for taking care of our home, for grocery shopping, and for being willing to drop everything and move into our apartment indefinitely while we were there with William.

To Kathryn and Drac:

Thank you for taking Juno in at a moment’s notice and continuing to extend her stay as conditions changed. Knowing she was in good hands meant the world to us and took so much stress out of the picture so we could be 100% present with William. We know she had a blast too.

To all the other friends we called and leaned on:

You brought food, you listed to us cry, you supported us, you offered us words of encouragement. Thank you – we can’t wait to see you soon.

To Natasha:

You are the strongest woman I’ve ever met; poised and graceful, able to weather any storm. You’re my light and my best friend. Our William is so lucky to have you as his mom, as I am to have you as my wife. Motherhood looks so natural on you. You are comfortable and confident, all the more the woman I fell in love with those year ago.

Will’s Newborns

What better way to spend an afternoon than with your best friend posing your newborn in various outfits & backgrounds! Will totally took it like a champ & let us get a lot of shots of him & I’m in LOVE with all of them. It was so hard to pair them down. They’re only this little once, so you have to capture it. Needless to say we are so thankful to be home than in the NICU & I must say everyone is adjusting nicely.

10 Things to do in your 3rd Trimester

With my due date just a few days away I’ve been thinking a lot about ways I’ve spent the last couple of months & there are a few things that I think every soon to be mama should put on her list.

  1. Prenatal Yoga – the hospital I’m delivering at offered a 6 week prenatal yoga class & it was some of the best $100 I’ve spent this pregnancy. Each Monday I walked to the yoga room & for 90 minutes was able to focus on stretching, breathing & getting to be around other very pregnant soon to be mamas. Since the class ended I’ve been trying to stick with stretching because I know it can only help me with delivery day comes. If your hospital doesn’t offer a class or you don’t want to shell out money just head to YouTube and search for 3rd trimester yoga and see the results pour in. I promise you won’t be disappointed!!
  2. LadyMoon – As much as I talked about how great it is to go on a babymoon with your significant other, I think if you can swing it some kind of Ladymoon with your girlfriends can be just as important! It doesn’t have to be overnight, it doesn’t have to be fancy, it can be as simple as a dinner out somewhere that makes delicious mocktails. There’s nothing being surrounded by some of your favorite women & if you have the opportunity to get pampered why not go for it.IMG_8602img_8606.jpg
  3. REST! Whenever you want, how much you want & don’t feel guilty about it. In the third trimester I revisited the power of an afternoon nap. The last six weeks or so of this trimester my sleep at night really started to be impacted. I know a lot of women who have trouble sleeping much sooner than that, so I certainly count myself lucky, but once I stopped working & could really indulge in the afternoon nap I went for it. Chris typically calls me when he’s leaving work to say he’s on his way home, and more often than not these days that phone call finds me asleep on the couch!
  4. Shower – this might sound odd, but one of my goals this trimester was to shower whenever I felt like it for as long as I wanted, uninterrupted. I’m not always the biggest fan of showers, mostly because I hate washing my hair & having to blow dry it afterward. I’m typically a wash my hair every 3-4 days gal; but this trimester it dawned on me showers will be harder to come by & I know hearing a crying baby will definitely make a shower far less enjoyable. So I decided this is my last chance to be under hot water for as long as I please & not feel any guilt.
  5. Meal Prep – Come up with a handful of meals you can make ahead of time & freeze. A few friends of mine picked a random day & dedicated it to cooking these freeze ahead meals. If that sounds far to daunting then try to cook one meal a week that you can make a double batch of & freeze the second half. Some of the meals we made were: Lasagna, beef chili, chicken teriyaki, squash soup & a jumbalaya. All of these items reheat nicely & I know will be such a lifesaver in the weeks to come. Because we live in an apartment our freezer situation is pretty tight, so I went ahead and sent a couple meals with one of my friends who I know will come visit me in the first few weeks & told her when she comes just to bring one or two of the meals! Whether you’re cooking or your enlisting the help of friends or family, having some meals ready to go that just need to be heated up will take some of the pressure off in the first few weeks.
  6. Go out to dinner – Chris & I made a little list of some of our favorite restaurants in San Francisco & decided to make an effort to go to them one last time before the baby came. I personally tried to pick places that have yummy desserts, now that I’m not indulging in a fancy cocktail or a glass of wine I’ve become quite the dessert connoisseur. It’s been so nice to have a leisurely dinner at some of our favorite places & just relish in this moment of time right before our world gets turned upside down.
  7. Acupuncture – I’ve talked about my love for acupuncture in previous posts & how much it helped in the first trimester with keeping morning sickness at bay & energy levels up. Now in the third trimester I’ve been going more & more frequently. Throughout this trimester I’ve started to experience more pregnancy symptoms, when I was still working my back began to hurt from standing all day. In the final six weeks or so of my pregnancy I began developing significant carpal tunnel & hand swelling & acupuncture really helped alleviate some of the discomfort that went along with it. And as of the past few weeks I’ve been going to try to prepare my body for birth. One of my biggest goals is to try my hardest to avoid induction, I really trust my body & although my doctor is okay with being going to 42 weeks, it honestly sounds a little terrifying to go that far overdue. My acupuncturist specializes in women’s health / fertility & is very confident in her ability to send the right signals to my body to promote labor. As someone who was going to acupuncture long before I was pregnant & saw the results I can’t help but recommend it for almost everyone! Stay tuned for what I think about the “induction” sessions & if they really work to bring about labor!
  8. Take a birth class – no matter what your ideal birth plan is it’s probably a good idea to take some kind of class just in case mother nature has other plans. Often times women can be sent home from the hospital if they are not far enough along in their labor, and having ways to cope with labor before you can be admitted and get an epidural is a smart idea. If you’re in the bay area I highly recommend Bay Area Birth Education. This class was awesome. It was a little daunting when we saw that it was an ALL day class, but we both felt so much more prepared for what is to come afterward. I anticipated a fairly granola approach, with lots of discussion about natural births however I must say I thought they did an amazing job of presenting all the options women are faced with in an incredibly non judgmental way.
  9. Get organized –  As someone who appreciates a good list this was definitely a must for me. Chris & I created a list of things that we had to get done before the baby got here. It included things like getting our cars oil changed & detailed before installing the bases to the carseat, specific tasks to finish up the nursery like hanging shelves, setting up our baby monitor etc. I’ll be sharing our list in case anyone is curious, but I highly recommend sitting down & thinking about the things that must get done & things you would love to have done before baby is here & setting aside a couple tasks each week. By breaking the list up it can make it seem much more manageable. Plus if you have family or friends who want to help you it’s a great way to know what tasks you can ask them to do for you. For instance my parents came to town for a few days & wanted to help me so I had them help me wash the cover for our sectional couch which was something that absolutely needed to be done & is a huge pain in the butt.
  10. Finalize your maternity leave plans – every state has different benefits & amount of time they give to new mothers. Navigating this process can feel very overwhelming so the sooner you start asking your colleagues, researching online & getting things in order the better. California is generous when it comes to time off for both pregnancy & in the weeks following the birth.  & Even though I had a few women at work who could help shed some light about how to navigate the system it was still very confusing & involved me having to calculate out how much vacation time, sick time, holiday time I would be using.
  11. Bonus ENJOY! – As hard as it can be, try your very hardest to enjoy your third trimester. As I sit here writing this post just a few days shy of my due date, I honestly can’t believe it’s already here. It feels both like yesterday & forever ago that we sat in the car in awe with our first ultrasound photos & had this nervous excited energy buzzing in us. Now with the birth upon us it’s so crazy to think that we’re on the brink of a completely new season of life. Chris & I often talk about seasons & we really made it a point to enjoy this season of being married but not having babies. Even though having a family is incredibly important to both of us & was something that we looked forward to & talked at length about even from our first date! We really made it a priority to relish in the season that led up to it because we won’t ever have that time again.  I know we are about to embark on an experience & feel love bigger than we can even imagine right now but I think anytime a season ends it inevitably feels bittersweet. So I’m really trying to just be present & enjoy this time right now.

Did any other mommas feel this end of season bittersweetness I describe? I know that in a week or two I probably won’t even remember I felt this way!

Adventures in Lisbon

It’s hard to believe nearly a year ago we were strolling through Lisbon, eating cured meats, drinking wines & eating delicious seafood. A lot sure can change in a year! It’s taken me so long to sort through all our photos on various memory cards from our trip to Portugal and Spain but I’m finally all done. I mentioned in a previous post that I really wanted to finish our 2017 photo book (which I did on Friday!!) So now I have all the photos sorted so I thought I’d finally publish some pictures from our time in Portugal. If you ever find yourself in Lisbon I 100% recommend the restaurant SeaMe. It’s a Japanese / Portuguese fusion seafood & it was hands down the best meal we had. We randomly decided to go their the night of our anniversary & it ended up being so good we had our last meal in Lisbon there too! In the past few years we’ve usually gone on a fairly big vacation in the early spring & this spring we’re just waiting for our babe to make his or her arrival & I wouldn’t trade it for a minute. Hope everyone is having a great week!

Gender Neutral Nursery Reveal

crib hampermobilerug

Our nursery is finally done!!! It feels so good to have everything wrapped up. Since we are saving the gender of our baby for delivery day we had to opt for a very neutral room. Neither of us were super into some of the generic themes you can find at superstores. When coming up with our plan for designing the nursery we first picked out a paint color & then we chose furniture. Next we decided that we should choose a bright rug & have that kind of lead us. We ended up doing a plant theme & I think it turned out SO cute, I couldn’t be happier. Some of my favorite pieces in the nursery are the sweet mobile that came from an Etsy shop called The Felting Dorcas, I also really love the accent wall above the dresser / changing station. I found some glass hexagon shelves on Etsy & filled them with small river rocks & some artificial greenery & I think it totally ties the room together!

The Final Countdown

This past Sunday I hit 37 weeks & it feels so surreal that this baby is going to make his or her appearance any day now. I’m officially off of work as of last week & am fully in preparation mode. As a nurse I’m used to having random week days off, so at first it just felt like I had a long stretch of days off but now it’s really setting in that I won’t be heading back to work until the fall! Throughout the entirety of Chris & my relationship I have either worked nightshift or for the past 3 years worked swing shifts which meant coming home around 2am. So this is the first time in five years that we’re seeing each other every night & eating dinner / going to bed together like most couples, it’s something we were both very excited about!

As for how I’m spending my final weeks pre baby? Well I’m certainly soaking in taking afternoon naps & just resting whenever I feel like. But I’ve also got a decent list of little projects that I’m trying to tackle, mostly random cleaning or organization tasks. Our baby room is done, our hospital bags are packed & my freezer is already stuffed to the brim with food for once baby is here. My parents are finally back in town, they spent the month of March away so I can breathe easy knowing they are just a few hour drive away if baby decides to come early now. My mom is planning to come next week to help me with some cleaning, which I’m pretty excited about. Aside from cleaning & resting I’m wrapping up some last minute self care items: getting new glasses, getting my hair cut etc. And of course I’m going to acupuncture especially as I get closer & closer. My major goal this week is to finish our 2017 photo book, I make one each year with all our pictures & I’m SO close to finishing last years & I know I absolutely NEED to get it done before this baby gets here otherwise it may never happen so that is a top item this week.

Below is a photo from the last shift I worked. My amazing coworkers threw my the sweetest send off, it was super hero themed on account of me being SUPER pregnant.

Sunshine, Pineapples & Sourdough Bagels

img_8429.jpg

San Francisco has been experiencing some of the most beautiful spring weather for the last week, late into the afternoon you can still comfortably walk around in shorts & a T-shirt. It’s been amazing, & we’ve definitely been taking advantage. Here’s some photos from the past week in all this beautiful weather! My little baby is officially the size of a pineapple which seems SO big. I haven’t been doing serial bump shots in the same outfit or anything like that, but I occasionally get inspired to document the bump because I know it’ll be gone before I know it. So today I got some photos to commemorate week 29, the pineapple week, Juno was very intrigued as to what was happening. This past week I’ve started to feel really pregnant. I’m way more tired after a standard day & notice that it’s just getting harder to move around. The nurse in me knows it’s my bodies way of telling me I shouldn’t be trying to do quite as much. So I’ve been trying to my best to listen & slow down a little bit. I’ve been trying to find easy ways to get Juno exercised & the beach is definitely a fail safe. So yesterday we spent the afternoon at Ocean Beach, I was able to sit on a blanket & let the bump get some sunshine while Juno chased after a ball. Along with feeling more tired, I’ve noticed that my cravings are coming back & once I have my mind set on something I have to have it! This morning it was a sourdough bagel with the honey almond shmear from Noah’s Bagels. Juno & I walked 2 miles round trip in order to get this & it was SO worth it! I’m spending the next five out of six days working, so needless to say we don’t have anything exciting planned this weekend, but next weekend we’re going on our second mini babymoon & I’m super excited!

Happy Friday ❤

Second Trimester Musts

Belly Balm – I started religiously applying some kind of cream or balm to my growing belly at least once a day during the second trimester. Your bump starts expanding so fast that your skin starts to itch! My favorite balm was this one from Mother Love & it’s a salve so it’s really thick but starts to melt as soon as it goes on the skin. Because of how thick it is I use it a night so it can really soak in. I also used the Burts Bees Belly Butter. The belly butter has a much thinner consistency and is more like a cream, so I used it during the day. You certainly don’t have to spend a fortune on lotion or balm or salve, but it’s definitely worth putting something on your ever growing belly even if it’s just plain coconut oil!

Register – We started our registry pretty early, I think we went to Buy Buy Baby when I was about 4 months along. Since I work every other weekend, & the timing with the holidays we registered a little on the early side, but it ended up being nice because family could get us things off our registry for Christmas. And it was nice not to feel rushed, we were able to slowly add things to our registry over the last two months or so.

Maternity Clothes – You’re gonna need em but you don’t have to spend a fortune. I found great deals on clothes from Thred Up. Slightly used or new maternity clothes for a fraction of the price? What’s not to love. Another tip for getting affordable maternity clothes? Living in San Francisco & being pregnant primary in the fall / winter, I’m not in need of tons of dresses or shorts, but instead needed warm long sleeves tee’s & sweaters. I found GREAT deals on sweaters believe it or not in the men’s section. I got some really cheap & totally comfy long sleeves from Old Navy for, I kid you not, $8!!! I also got a few sweaters from the Target men’s department. Even before I was pregnant I would always cruise the men’s clearance or sales racks at places like Banana Republic for sweaters. Men’s sweaters are typically thicker and cozier. I’m not always a huge fan of the fit of some women’s sweaters. I tend to lean toward a looser / warmer fit. I also discovered H&M’s mama line & the jeans I’ve lived in the last few months are from there.

Plan / Go on a babymoon – it doesn’t have to be extravagant, it doesn’t have to be week long, but planning a night or two should be on your to do list. We had contemplated going to Hawaii for a babymoon but decided we would rather save that trip for later in the year with baby! Instead we opted to for two smaller getaways that were driving distance. We went to a cabin in Tahoe to enjoy some snow you can see my post on our trip here .  Our other small babymoon is going to be in Pismo Beach toward the end of February. We’re staying at a really nice resort that’s right on the beach & is dog friendly! Setting aside a little bit of time for just you & your partner is so important & feels so valuable as the weeks start ticking by & as due dates draw closer.

Skincare Routine – If you don’t already have a go to skincare routine, I think the second trimester is the perfect time to establish one. In the first trimester the idea of washing my face & going through multiple steps was nauseating. By the second trimester you have more energy so I think it’s a perfect time to set aside 10 minutes a night to make yourself feel a little extra pampered, plus your skin will thank you. My favorite overnight cream is Origins Night-a-Mins Renewal Cream.

Pre-Natal Yoga– Your second & third trimesters are a great time to find a prenatal yoga class. I started mine about a month ago & every time I go I’m so happy I signed up. It’s offered through our hospital & meets once a week for 90 minutes. I really started to notice my body begin tightening up more & more as my belly grew this trimester. My back would be sore by the end of the day. So going to a class that specifically focuses on how to adjust poses to make them the most beneficial for your ever expanding belly is so important. Plus it’s a great way to meet other women who are expecting babies right around the same time as you. If you’re in the San Francisco area check out SF Prenatal Yoga this website lists all the prenatal yoga classes available & gives you information on the instructors so you can see if you think the class will be a good fit. Besides getting 90 minutes of stretching in each week, I also find myself leaving class will other valuable insights about ways to relieve acid reflux, recommendations on doulas, birth books etc.

Compression Socks – This is my final must this trimester. If you’re at all on your feet during the day, or if you notice you’re having leg pain or leg swelling do yourself a favor & invest in a pair or two of these. Being a nurse I’ve heard the praises be sung about compression socks for years & years by veteran nurses. I would occasionally wear them pre-pregnancy but now I wear them every.single.day. at work. Standing for 10 to 12 hours even not pregnant is hard work for your legs, so wearing these has made a huge difference. Also if you’re planning any sort of air travel either for a babymoon, to visit family or for work you should definitely be rocking some of these as our tendency to develop blood clots while pregnant is much higher. If the comfort factor isn’t selling you, know that they can also help prevent vericose veins. Amazon has a ton of options for compression socks so in 1-2 days you yourself could be enjoying all the benefits & comfort, no but seriously get yourself a pair!

New Year, Old Traditions

Growing up I spent a handful of New Year’s in Rio de Janiero on Copacabana beach, where my mom is originally from. Brazilian tradition involves wearing all white on New Year’s Eve to symbolize peace and renewal. It also includes putting flowers into the ocean as a gift to the goddess of the sea & to bring good luck into the new year. These traditions date back to the 1500’s. Ever since I’ve lived in San Francisco I’ve made it a point to take advantage of my close proximity to the ocean & walk out into the water on new years. There’s something so peaceful about going to the beach & thinking about the whole year to come.

I’ve spent the past five new years working in the ER. I always choose to work NYE for a few reasons: 1. it’s endlessly entertaining in the ER 2. I love my coworkers & we bring a ton of food & decorations & have lots of fun 3. I want to have Christmas off so I always volunteer to work on NYE.

Turning the page on 2017 & going into 2018 is so exciting. 2017 was filled with so many wonderful memories. We spent an incredible two weeks exploring Spain & Portugal, we enjoyed SF Giants spring training in Scottsdale for my birthday, we saw friends get married, camped in Timber Cove, found out in late summer we’d be having a baby & so much more! I’m excited & anxious for the year to come, I know it will be our biggest one yet! With everything on the horizon, it feels good to lean on old traditions. Even though this past weekend I’ve been combating a terrible head cold while working 11 hour nights I’m so glad we made a point to get to the beach & throw our flowers in the water. I can’t wait to do it next year with our baby in tow.

Happy New Year! I’d love to hear what some of your New Year traditions are, leave them in the comments below.

A quick Carmel getaway

^a tiny little 14 week bump

^ Dinner at Casanova – one of our favorites

Back in October we took a day trip to Carmel by the Sea. We go each year for Chris’ birthday. (see the past two years here & here). This year it was feeling a little too hectic to try to stay for the whole weekend. So we ended up leaving early Saturday morning & spending all day there. We visited some of our favorite spots. It was a chilly day so we decided to bypass the beach and stick just to downtown. There’s an awesome ornament store called Kris Kringle of Carmel where they’ll personalize the ornaments for you. It’s certainly worth checking out if you love Christmas decor or collect ornaments like we do. In years past our trips include plenty of wine tasting but this year my little baby bump kept me from any tasting rooms. Not to worry I did manage to find some excellent mocktails.  It’s so fun to think about next year’s trip & how we’ll have a little one in tow with us! Even though this trip was quick, I’m so glad we decided to go. Heading down the coast to Carmel is by far one of my favorite fall traditions.